Phony Fuhrer

Spike Dolomite
Jun 18 · 4 min read
No, this isn’t a homeless encampment, Walmart sidewalk sale, or college boycott. These are MAGAs in Orlando, camping out overnight to see their billion dollar blue collar hero blame their misery on immigrants and the media tonight

About 85 people camped out overnight in Orlando to see their Phony Fuhrer announce that he won’t be leaving the White House, ever. The media is covering them like Woodstock. Lots of man boobs, red hats, beer, guns (it’s Florida,) bibles, fleas and flubber. Lock her up! Lock her up! They have plenty of time to sit out on the sidewalk all day since they’re unemployed because Mexicans took their jobs.

Their Dear Leader tweeted: The Trump Economy is setting records, and has a long way up to go….However, if anyone but me takes over in 2020 (I know the competition very well), there will be a Market Crash the likes of which has not been seen before! KEEP AMERICA GREAT

Trump pretty much threatened to crash the economy if he doesn’t get his way.

The rule of law is gone, there are no checks on presidential power, term limits are in jeopardy, the press is the enemy, and the economy could crash with a tweet. America is lost.

Twitler thinks he should get 2 more years because Bob Mueller wasted 2 years of his time.

Trump is planning an all out gestapo raid on “millions” of immigrants to coincide with his 2020 announcement. He tweeted: Next week ICE will begin the process of removing the millions of illegal aliens who have illicitly found their way into the United States. They will be removed as fast as they come in. Mexico, using their strong immigration laws, is doing a very good job of stopping people long before they get to our Southern Border. Guatemala is getting ready to sign a Safe-Third Agreement. The only ones who won’t do anything are the Democrats in Congress. They must vote to get rid of the loopholes, and fix asylum! If so, Border Crisis will end quickly!

ICE officials said they were not aware that Trump planned to out them on Twitter. They will be showing up at day care centers, schools, summer camps, etc., to grab parents when they show up to drop off or pick up their kids. This is all to please the white supremacists also known as Trump’s base. There aren’t as many as Trump thinks there are but that won’t stop him from breaking laws and committing crimes against humanity to keep them where he wants them so he doesn’t have to go anywhere, like jail.

The Trump administration has been planning a mass deportation for months. There is no leadership at the Department of Homeland Security and ICE has been gutted. Gestapo time is here. Trump wants to remove 1/3 of the US population. Ethnic cleansing in America is real.

The Supreme Court reaffirmed the dual sovereignty doctrine which is the long established precedent that allows both state and federal authorities to prosecute a person for the same crime. That means anybody pardoned by Trump can still face state prosecution. One small victory for American justice.

Officials are hiding information from Trump on the Russia cyber operation because they’re afraid he’ll leak it to foreign governments because that’s what he does.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Senator Lisa Murkowski says that Mark Warner wrote a bill to require campaigns to disclose foreign assistance just to stir up trouble. She says they don’t need a law like that.

Alex Jones sent child porn to parents of kids who were shot a Sandy Hook Elementary School and is now claiming that he was set up. Trump has been on his Info Wars show. He says Alex Jones has an excellent reputation.

Paul Manafort won’t be going to Rikers Island prison after all. He’s getting special rich white male treatment because Attorney General Bill Barr personally intervened to move him to a Manhattan detention center that formerly held El Chapo. It’s more glamorous.

“Hey Justice Department: I have a request for a Manafort Intervention for this client of mine who right now is jailed on Rikers Island because he cannot afford $3500. If it’s too inhumane for Manafort. It’s too inhumane for him.” — Scott Hechinger

The Trump Baby Blimp will be at the Re-Elect 2020 MAGA rally tonight. As the Phony Fuhrer throws out hunks of freshly killed meat to the meanest, dumbest people in America, patriots will be outside with protest signs, kazoos, rainbow flags and a giant baby.

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Spike Dolomite

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.