Proud BOYS

Spike Dolomite
The new romper by Proud Boys Will Be Boys. Sold wherever fascist merchandise is sold.

A Republican memo has leaked. In it is the GOP’s strategy of blaming the left for the divisiveness in the country and minimizing white supremacy’s role in mass shootings. The Republicans aren’t unified around much these days except their silence about Trump, the left being the party of hate, and Antifa is coming for your orderly, white conservative virgin land and your virgins! The Vikings of the west are going to get you and there are A LOT OF THEM. Come on boys, let’s romp!

Antifa simply means anti-fascists. It’s a fringe group, not a mob of liberals that is reaping anarchy across white-pristine-keep out-America, but Fox and the Republicans are doing their best to convince their audience and voters that Antifa are Democrat Vikings.

The white supremacist sexist group, the Proud Boys, a self described violent gang, marched into Portland yesterday to fight Antifa. They planned what weapons to bring and they had an attack plan. They had prepared talking points on the ready to blame Antifa. Knowing this, Antifa came prepared with a marching band of people playing flutes and trumpets, dancing in banana suits, which made the Proud Boys look even more ridiculous in contrast. KILL THE BANANAS! DEFEAT THE BANANAS! BANANA-FANA FO FARY ANTIFA!

The Proud Boys declared Portland rally a success because Trump said it was, “Go look at President Trump’s Twitter.”

Trump legitimized the Proud Boys on Twitter, and by extension white nationalism, and then painted all anti-racist activists as terrorists. He and the Republicans are calling anybody who is anti-racist Antifa now, so by their own logic, “Antifa” will replace “Democrats.”

“For every Proud Boy marauding the streets there’s at least a dozen White people who aren’t as overtly proud of their White supremacist beliefs but will quietly vote Republican til the day they die for the sake of White wealth, power, patriarchy and privilege” — Propane Jane

A very petite 47 year old middle school teacher, Yvette Felarca, told the court that it’s not a crime to punch a Nazi after she got arrested for punching a Nazi at an anti fascist rally in Berkeley. “It’s not a crime to stand up to fascism” she said. “The goal of the demonstration was to shut down the Nazi scum.” It worked. The group retreated and wasn’t able to recruit any new members.

A 20 year old white male, James Reardon Jr, was arrested for plotting to shoot up a Jewish community center in Ohio. The FBI raided his house and found a cache of multiple semi-automatic weapons and ammunition, a gas mask and bulletproof armor. The neo-Nazi white supremacist proud boy attended the deadly Unite the Right (“Jews will not Replace Us”) rally in Charlottesville 2 years ago.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Republicans are going to start abandoning Trump not out of principle but out of self preservation. If they were going to drop Trump out of principle they would have done that years ago.

Release the flies.

I know an old Republican white man
He swallowed a fly
I don’t know why
He swallowed the fly
I guess he’ll die.

Journalist Brian Karem, one of the only reporters who ever calls Trump and his administration out for their hypocrisy and lies, confronted Trump with a question about his claims that there is more violence at the border, asking him where he gets his information and numbers because his sources for facts and statistics say that illegal immigration and violence at the border are down. He got under Trump’s skin and Trump pretty much told him to shut up. “Sit down! No violence? 2 weeks ago 26 people were killed at the border in a gun fight a mile away from where I was!”

It wasn’t a gun fight. It was a 21 year old neo-Nazi white boy who went on a killing spree, targeting Mexicans, inspired by Trump.

Trump is on a Twitter tangent this morning, attacking the media. That can only mean one thing: Breaking news.

Oh boy.

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Spike Dolomite

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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