Shake a Speare at it

Spike Dolomite
Sep 2, 2018 · 2 min read

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts.

John McCain’s funeral. A Shakespearean tragedy filled with human highs and human lows, celebrating the life of a patriot while mourning the death of the Republican party.

While McCain was fulfilling his final patriotic duty, uniting and illuminating, the president was trying to hit a golf ball out of the weeds, all alone — the loneliest, most hated man in the world.

Hamlet, played by Meghan McCain, took to the stage and said, “America does not boast, because she has no need to. The America of John McCain has no need to be made great again, because America was always great………My father wasn’t an opportunistic man of wealth who sat back while others made their sacrifices……….the nation mourns the passing of American greatness. The real thing, not cheap rhetoric from men who will never come near the sacrifice he gave so willingly, nor the opportunistic appropriation of those who lived lives of comfort and privilege.”

Applause.

Ivanka and Jared were there. The kissing traitor Judas Lindsey Graham invited them. Ivanka was in her tiny little bubble, texting. Ivanka was texting at John McCain’s funeral.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Paul Ryan (House Claudius) and Mitch McConnell (Senate Claudius) were there. Mitch McConnell’s wife took a nap and picked at her nails.

The play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the king” — Hamlet

“ — a morality play shot through with Shakespearian portent and foreshadowing, a pageant of democracy’s vengeance” — Charlie Pierce

While Meghan McCain eulogized her father and quoted Ernest Hemingway, Trump sat in his golf cart and quoted Dan Bongino on Twitter. Oingo boingo who the hell is Bongino.

Dan Bongino is a former secret service agent who has his own podcast and rants on NRA TV. He ran for a seat in both the House and Senate and lost both times. He’s one of the many demons who will hopefully slither back under ground once this tragedy is over — once America is great again.

“We are all imperfect. Our nation is imperfect. But watching the funeral of John McCain, hearing eulogies touch on America’s highest ideals, the patriotic songs that gird us in times of sorrow and joy, I am touched by what the United States was, is, and yet may be.” Dan Rather

Hey Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell: To thine own self be true.

Hey Trump:

Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.

Spike Dolomite

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