Tit for Tat

Spike Dolomite
May 24 · 4 min read

Nancy Pelosi ended her normal press conference by saying that the White House is screaming for impeachment, that her caucus is unified and not ready to impeach unless the facts reveal that they should, and that she wished that Trump’s family or staff would do an intervention for the good of the country.

25th amendment. Tick tock. Tit for tat.

“Maybe he wants to take a leave of absence,” Nancy told reporters.

Leave of absence from what? Tweeting, golfing and watching TV?

Trump ended his press conference on increased farm aid by devolving into an insane rant against Nancy and the Democrats. First he thanked bipartisan support for his tariffs on China (huh?). He’s taking in tremendous money. Many people don’t know that China pays for the tariffs. The net farm income is 8 billion higher than 2016 because the economy is better than it’s ever been. The farmers have done a good job. Nancy Pelosi doesn’t understand his new trade deal because it’s too complicated. The folks that do beef are very much happier. We’re saving our farmers and ranchers from ridiculous dumb regulations. I won Iowa by a lot. We’re fighting for rural communities. We’ve worked hard on opportunity zones. Nancy Pelosi has lost it. She’s not the same person. Crazy Nancy. She is a mess.

He turned to the sycophants he had lined up on either side of him and asked them to describe his demeanor in the Chuck and Nancy meeting. Chuck and Nancy said I had a temper tantrum. I DID NOT!!!!! I AM A STABLE GENIUS!

His aids publicly humiliated themselves by saying yes, Dear Leader, you were calm in that meeting. Yes, Dear Leader. You were calm.

Trump, needing constant televised validation, asked for testimonials. His aides, needing to keep their jobs because nobody else would hire them and having already sold their souls to the devil, acquiesced. Yes, Dear Leader. You were calm. You are great. You are a stable genius.

The stable genius with the power to blow up the world endorsed the death penalty for Jim Comey, Andrew McCabe, Peter Strzok and Lisa Page on the grounds of “treason.”

Trump ordered federal agencies to cooperate with Barr on his own Russia investigation. He has given Bill Barr the unilateral ability to declassify relevant documents so he can dig into CIA’s Russian informant identities. These are sources that are among the CIA’s most closely held secrets. This is fucking dangerous as hell and not at all American. The president and the attorney general are dangerous as hell and unAmerican.

“Attorney General Barr has no business knowing what assets CIA has in Russia. It’s absurd and inappropriate for him to even ask. Only in a world in which he’s empowered beyond his official capacity by the president would he have the audacity to pursue this information.” — Evan McMullin, former Central Intelligence Agency operations officer

“Stripping the intel leaders of their ability to control information about sources and methods, and handing that power to political actors, could cause human agents to question whether their identity will be protected, This is dangerous territory.” — Jeremy Bash, former Chief of Staff CIA

Trump has publicly called for his political opponents to be investigated, prosecuted, jailed and executed, and has accused FBI officials of “treason.” He won’t release White House visitor logs or his tax returns, and makes staffers sign non-disclosure agreements.

“Trump is launchin’ a true ‘witch hunt’ to jail his political enemies and we’re waitin’ for the ‘right time’ to impeach?” — Tea Pain

Stable genius. The most transparent president in the history of the country.

“When I woke up this morning I confided to Susan that, in truth, I am an extremely stable genius, and that I expected her to testify to the same. I am now having coffee in a diner, having been ejected from the house.” — Bill Kristol

Prime Minister of Great Britain, Theresa May, resigned. Russia has invaded Europe, too.

Mueller doesn’t want to testify in public. The public can see the transcript but that’s not going to advance the cause for justice much because lazy ass voters who didn’t read the Mueller Report aren’t going to read the transcript either.

Is today the day that Trump cracks up and gets hauled out of the White House in a straight jacket AND handcuffs? Is it today? Please say it’s today. America can’t take another day of this tit for tat bullshit.

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Spike Dolomite

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.