Today’s Specials

A fifth woman has come forward to tell her sexual assault story about Judge Roy Moore. Church ladies were out of Roy’s league so he went for kids. His closet is filled with skeletons of young girls.

Mitch McConnell says, “I believe the women” and has asked Roy Moore to step aside. Isn’t that special?

Mitch McConnell doesn’t believe the women who were assaulted by Trump. Isn’t that special?

Republicans are letting it be known that they’ll kick Roy Moore out if he wins. If they did, he’d be the 17th Senator to get the boot. Most of the prior senators who were 86’d were southern sympathizers during the Civil War. Roy Moore would get the boot for making the Republican Civil War worse.

The Dems are knocking on the doors of women, millennials, and the well-educated in Alabama regarding the special election next month because everybody else is a waste of time.

Roy Moore says he’s going to sue the Washington Post. No he’s not. That would be like sticking a burning cross in his eye.

Roy Moore was banned from the mall for being a creepy guy who tried to pick up teenagers.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Special Ed Martin, former head of the Missouri Republican Party, trashed the women who trashed Roy Moore because the Good Christian Man would never pick up trash. Special Ed served as chief of staff for the Missouri Governor, Matt Blunt, who didn’t run for re-election because he was involved in an e-mail scandal. Oopsies.

The same people who accused Hillary of running a child sex ring out of a pizza parlor are now asking for proof of child molestation with Roy Moore.

The new Health and Human Services secretary is a pharmaceutical executive because he’s very special.

Junior is in trouble again. He was in regular contact with Wikileaks during the campaign. He’s tweeting about it which is really, really stupid. He’s an idiot, just like his dad.

Trump mentioned Wikileaks 145 times during his campaign.

The Russians gave information to Wikileaks and then Wikileaks gave information to Junior and then Junior gave information to Twitler and then Twitler tweeted. This is the White House that Jack Ass built.

Jeff Sessions is thinking about a special counsel to investigate Hillary to appease the Republicans because they really want the media to stop talking about Roy Moore. And Trump. And Them.

Trump has been nominating federal judges at the rate of Alabamians rushing to defend Roy Moore. 91% of his picks are white and 80% of them are men. Over 50% of people graduating from law school today are women. White men are getting special treatment. Again.

Volvo has pulled their ads from Sean Hannity’s show. Are Trump voters going to drive their Volvos off a cliff now? That would be so special.

While all of this BS is going on don’t forget Special Prosecutor Bob Mueller is hard at work. His specialty is nailing bad guys to Trump’s wall.

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