War of the Words

In a press conference with the Prime Minister of Spain, Trump took the opportunity to ramble on and on about himself. “We’ve made tremendous progress in Puerto Rico and we’re getting great reviews. Nobody has seen anything like this. Everybody says we’re doing a tremendous job. We’re going to do far more than anybody else would do.”

An exodus has begun in Puerto Rico since there is no food, fresh water, power, shelter, or jobs. Trump and his supporters don’t want no more immigrants coming to America.

Trump says helping Puerto Rico is complicated because it’s an island in the middle of an ocean. And it’s a big ocean. It’s a very big ocean. You can’t just drive your truck there.

The mayor of San Juan in Puerto Rico is asking the president to stop talking about debt and start talking about death. They are in the midst of a humanitarian crisis and they need help yesterday. Two people have already died who were on life support in the hospital. There is no power to keep the machines going in the hospitals.

Right wing whackadoodle End Times radio host Rick Wiles has the whole knee thing figured out. “It’s a Marxist communist psychological warfare operation. I assure you the man behind all of it is Barack Hussein Obama, America’s chief street organizer, rabble-rouser, troublemaker. He’s behind this stuff. They want violence. They’re making it white vs black. There will be no football left. What the communists do is urinate on everything. They’re invading the country with illegal immigrants. Nobody is talking about this and calling it what it is. It’s a communist revolution! Obama is still directing his revolution! He won’t stop until there is blood in the streets!”

Creepy swinger Roger Stone met with the House Intel Committee. He said Robert Mueller should be fired. No collusion! I know nothing! Roger Stone has a tattoo of Richard Nixon on his back.

Republican hypocrite fact: Attorney General Jeff Sessions made a speech at Georgetown University about free speech. Students were forbidden to protest him but some did anyway. He talked about what forms of expression of free speech are acceptable, who can say them and when (code: black people, especially black people with a lot of advantages should shut the hell up and be grateful for what they have been given.) He also said that the president has free speech too and can tweet whatever he wants. Professors protested Sessions by taking a knee.

A woman who laughed at Jeff Sessions during his confirmation hearing got arrested.

Twitter is doubling its character limit to 280. Oh great, Trump will get to include more of the words he knows in his presidential tweets. He knows so many words.

Roy Moore won the primary in Alabama. He’s worse than Jeff Sessions. Trump deleted all of his tweets that endorsed his opponent, Big Luther Strange.

Texas Congressman Al Green is filing an impeachment resolution which will force the house to vote on impeachment next week.

Sean Spicer got a lawyer.

While Trump sits on the toilet, eating an Egg McMuffin, tweeting and watching Fox News, the Dallas Mavericks flew their plane to Puerto Rico, stocked with food, water, generators and other supplies, compliments of Mark Cuban. Hey Trump! Mark Cuban is a better billionaire than you.

Puerto Ricans pay federal taxes and are US citizens. They need federal assistance. Hillary Clinton is calling for that. Hey Trump! Hillary Clinton is a better president than you.

Colin Kaepernick’s mom is really proud of her son. You called her a bitch. Hey Trump! Colin’s mom is a better parent than you.

Hey Trump! Kim Jong-un is not better than you. He’s your equal.

Hey Trump! Obama is, and always will be, a better man than you.