Where are those Damned Handcuffs?

Richard Nixon’s former White House Counsel, John Dean, testified before the House Judiciary Committee along with former prosecutors and current law professors, Barbara McQuade and Joyce Vance. Impeachment 101 — a historical and legal perspective to help build a public case against Trump. They schooled everybody on how the Mueller Report is the guide to impeachment. There was only one problem. Everybody who tuned in to watch it live on C-SPAN and PBS News Hour have already read the Mueller Report. They’re part of the 3%. Main stream media needs to get it out to places like Bum Fuck Kentucky where people have never heard of C-SPAN, PBS News Hour or John Dean, but they vote.

Speaking of Bum Fuck Kentucky, Mitch McConnell’s wife, Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao, created a special channel for her husband to secure $78 million in grants for his favored projects. Those 2 belong in handcuffs (and not the kind lined with fur. Ewww.)

“Looks like Kentucky is going to get another Piggly Wiggly” — some guy on Twitter

Georgia Republican Congressman Rob Woodall hasn’t read the Mueller Report and he’s damn proud of it.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Republicans haven’t read the Mueller Report but they still get to question those who have.

Out of one side of his ass, Trump says he can’t be charged with a crime because he’s the president. Out of the other side he claims he can’t be impeached because he hasn’t been charged with high crimes or misdemeanors.

The Department of Justice agreed to provide Congress with key evidence in the Mueller Report. How nice of Congress to be so polite about it. Democrats are so nice.

Jerry Nadler isn’t going to hold a vote to hold Bill Barr and Don McGahn in contempt of Congress because it’s not very nice. The Blue Wave says, “GET THE HANDCUFFS!”

Before he released the Mueller Report, Bill Barr met with Lindsey Graham, the Republican chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, to come up with a plan to help Trump. They decided to investigate the investigators so they could take their handcuffs away.

“I do think it was worse than Watergate, I think this president worked with Russia. The report says that the investigation identified numerous links between the Russian government and the Trump campaign.” — Barbara McQuade

Jared Kushner still has a security clearance even though he is making a shit ton of foreign money for his private company. He belongs in handcuffs like his dear old dad.

Trump hasn’t bragged about last month’s jobs report because there weren’t many.

The All Lives Matter people who have a problem with Black Lives Matter don’t believe that Migrant Children’s Lives Matter.

One of the idiot Kardashians threw a Handmaid’s Tale themed birthday party.

The tree that Trump and the president of France planted together on the White House lawn has died.

“For the love of the living god, will someone in the Democratic congressional leadership remember where somebody put the handcuffs?” — Charles Pierce

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