I’ve Got No Room For You in My Life

I was very uptight in high school and I had a hard time opening up to people. This resulted in me acquiring very few meaningful friendships. I’m content with the few friends I’ve got as I am confident that they will always have my back.

During the summer before commencing university in Europe, I decided that it was time to let down my guard and enjoy my first year. Frosh week (a.k.a Freshers week) was a blast and I met plenty of people. Before long, I was part of a girl crew. We were all very different, yet we had plenty of fun on nights out. Over the months, I grew close to one of the girls and we started to do everything together. On one of our wild nights out we found that we had so much in common and shared a similar sense of humour. I let lose around her and revealed that rebellious side of me I’d kept carefully hidden from my family and friends.

I thought I had met my best friend for life. I’d never had a friend so similar to me. We were so close that we could literally complete each others sentences.

The trouble started when she moved in with me and my group of friends. Things started to go wrong from the very first day. The bitching started. Often I came back from my hospital placement to find her tearful in my room. She told me tales about how my friends were mean to her and that they actually disliked me.

In hindsight, I should have taken everything she said with a pinch of salt. Like any good best friend I believed her and was hurt that my friends were saying hateful things about me behind my back. I felt so deceived that I made the tough decision to no longer live with my friends next year. The “best-friend” and I moved out in the summer leaving behind a group of confused friends. I didn’t give them a proper explanation and soon things got awkward between us. It didn’t seem to bother me as I was preoccupied with my upcoming surgery. I was excited to move into a cute flat with my “best friend”.

I enjoy having numerous friends in my life and I continued meeting up with them during the year. The “best friend” didn’t seem to like it when I spent time with my other friends. She told me I had bad friends. I didn’t make much of it until I decided to ask her specifically about the horrible things our old friends had said about us. When she retold a few of the stories, I started to see huge inconsistencies. The more I questioned her, I realized that she had been lying to me. I believe she realized that I was very close to discovering the truth. Suddenly, her demeanor changed. We were arguing all the time and she often attacked my personality. She went as far as insulting my friends. I was shocked as I hadn’t seen this coming. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. It hurt.

It was the last straw when she started to bad mouth me to people. She spread lies about me and I often felt that she had a vendetta against me. When I found out about the lies, I decided that I did not want someone like her in my life. I have never cut someone out of my life as I believe in giving people second chances. She had crossed the line numerous times and she did not deserve a second chance.

When I was moving out I decided to leave things on a better note and went out for dinner with her. I asked her what I had done to upset her so badly. She answered by taking another dig at my personality. This confirmed that I had made the right choice. I believe she was a very insecure person and probably bringing me down made her feel better.

Friends are people you can laugh with and who always have your best interest in their hearts. Jealousy is a nasty emotion that can wreck even the strongest of friendships. People often say that friends come and go. Best friends can come and go too. Before this bittersweet experience, I never believed in the previous statement.

I am blessed to have some wonderful friends in my life. I feel sad to have lost a friend but I’m comforted by the fact that I still have my old friends back in my life. It will take a lot of work to mend our friendships but I am willing to give it a try.

Goodbye “best friend”! I have no room for judgemental and selfish people like you in my life. Our friendship is beyond repair. It’s time to move on.