Fly The Friendly Skies

So sue me. I guess I’m pretty lousy at keeping resolutions. I haven’t been on here in ages, it seems. Not too much to report, I suppose. Just traveling like usual. Currently in Shakopee, Minnesota.

I’ve got but one bitch currently. It’s been bugging me since this past Sunday evening when I boarded my flight to come here.

What’s up with airlines overselling flights? This is complete and utter bullshit. It should not be allowed. If there are 200 seats on the plane, the airline should be allowed to sell 200 tickets. On Monday the gate agent started announcing that they had “an oversold situation” and that they were looking to have 10 volunteers to take a different flight the next morning. They were also going to reward these 10 suckers with a night in a hotel and a $600 “travel voucher” good for travel within one year.

Now, this isn’t really news to me. I travel so much that I could probably recite their bullshit spiel verbatim. It’s sort of amusing to watch them start low with the dollar amount on the voucher and get increasingly agitated as they have to increase the amount to get any response. They’re near panic mode when it comes time to board the plane and they haven’t got it all squared away.

On Monday this amusement went just a little too far. We had completely boarded the plane and they were still 2 short of their stated goal of 10 people. The gate agent came onto the plane and started in with the bullshit again — guilting people out — trying to get them to give up seats. Eventually she got 2 suckers to agree. I wonder how many of those suckers understand that THEY have to use the “free” tickets? The travel vouchers are not transferable to another person.

Now that’s bullshit in and of itself. But here’s where I thought it really crossed the line. She actually started giving us shit, telling us that they were ready to close the door on the plane and that they really wanted to leave on time and get us to our destination on time. AS IF! What a bunch of crap. Shut the freakin’ door, already. If we’re late it’s because your stupid-ass company oversold the flight and now you’re wheelin’ and dealin’. If we’re late it has NOTHING to do with the way your passengers — nay, your CUSTOMERS — boarded the plane. We were all set. Seated. Belted in. Tray tables and seat backs in their locked and upright positions. YOU’RE the ass-munchers that delayed us!

I’ll tell you what would really piss me off…if I was ever bumped from a flight because of this. I have enough status with Delta that they’d have to oversell by 100 tickets for me to even be considered. But if I should happen to fly some other airline — I’m not so lucky. I think I might end up arrested if it happened.

Just think of me as Craig Toomey in the Langoliers. “Now, I booked a seat on this conveyance, in good faith, and I have no intention of being late…” Let’s freakin’ go. NOW!

OK. Rant over. I think I might just go to Delta.com and let them know what I think of their shit tactics. Won’t do any good, but I’ll feel better!

Have a nice day and an enjoyable flight. RJC

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