Still Lurking About

It seems that the only one of my three new year resolutions I’m actually keeping is the one about me being myself. Of course, I really never had too much trouble doing that — and honestly, it’s the easiest of the three. All I have to do is let go — don’t worry about whether or not you’re offended — don’t worry about whether or not Person A might be reading — don’t worry about anything. Just be me. That’s easy — it’s kind of like giving up.

The other two, on the other hand, are languishing.

I am currently just as heavy (maybe heavier) than I was at the beginning of the year. Sort of easy to say screw it with this one too, I guess. “You can get started with that tomorrow.” I tell myself. I’ve still got 11 months to lose all of that weight, right? Ha. This resolution is a bitch. It’s all a matter of willpower, yes, but I find that I’m lacking in that department. It’s a self-perpetuating type of lacking, you know? Screw it — start tomorrow — don’t feel like it — what difference does it make — you’re a fat-ass slob anyway — who cares? Can I get a witness? Woo-hoo! Preach it, fat man!

And I’m not writing like I promised myself I would. This one I actually love doing, but I find that it’s a little more explainable. (Even so, that doesn’t make it right.) Last week I was working 3rd shift and it really screws with a person who is not used to it. Just about the time you get turned around so that staying awake all night is no problem, it’s time to get back on the day shift. I spent all last week trying to get onto the night shift. I spent the weekend trying to get back to the day shift. Today I worked days (as I will do for the next 4 weeks) and I’m freaking beat. Duck season! Rabbit season! Duck season! Rabbit season! Back and forth we go.

So — forgive my indiscretions with regards to blogging. I will strive to do better. I’ve already got an idea about what I can talk about tomorrow. For now, however, I’m going to bed. I have to get up at 6am to go conduct some training. Fun, fun. RJC

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