The Ultimate end, and What does Truly Matter?
The Greatest Gift and the need for Deep listening
“The biggest gift I ever got was when somebody said to me: I see you, I see you in all that you are. He said it without words”
This was Jhampa Kelsang, a doktor/astrologer in Tibetan Medicine. It was while I was studying Tibetan pulse diagnoses for seven weeks with him in Dharmsala, India, each day he would read my pulse:
“Here, give me your pulse first,” he commanded me each day.
I reached my left palm toward him as he gently laid his three fingers on my pulse. First, the index finger — closest to my wrist — reached for my heart. Then the middle finger on the second position with a little more pressure to read the liver and gallbladder. His ring finger reached for the deepest position, my kidneys, the deep waters. With each finger, I sensed him descending into deeper layers of me, precisely navigating through all there was to feel. Never before had my pulse been taken so carefully, with so much depth and attention.
In the many Chinese medicine classes, it was always more a mechanical format, more about the status of empty and full, hot and cold. It was never about the deep connection, knowing past and future. Jhampa’s focus was now on the deep position, moving his ring finger slightly around, searching. I always wondered what he was looking for. He gazed at the wooden floor, his eyes moving back and forth from right to left as if he were reading words rapidly from a book.
In deep concentration, I felt my breath deepening with his. I was descending with him. I knew it was not about the physical — not the way my kidneys do their work — but about the deep wisdom stored in them. The wisdom that is stored in my bones connects me to my ancestry and the deep still timelessness, which I am born for in the first place. It reveals my unique path, my challenges, my distractions, and the potential that is ultimately there. He would tilt his head a little more.
I knew he saw me. He was showing me who I am and which paths I could choose to take. He was so gentle, loving, and wise. There was never a need to utter a word about it.
He would smile and squeeze my arm slightly before he pulled his hand away. He would take a deep breath and recite long, mumbling words for an hour and a half, words I couldn’t make sense of. He was reciting the tantras in Tibetan and moving his head rhythmically up and down. “A sacred transmission, your consciousness will get it anyway,”
(excerpt from: Forty-Nine Days, a Sensuous Journey in the Modern Afterlife)
That experience with Jhampa became so significant in my life. More then anything I wanted to develop that skill too. To be able to feel, sense, listen, and taste into another being. So I became an acupuncturist and I became quite good at pulsediagnoses.
I wasn’t really treating people just for the headache, infertility, back pain, or sleeplessness they came through the door with. I didn’t see them as bodies in need of fixing. For me, their pain was an expression of a voice that wanted to be heard. I could see that voice by reading their tongues and hear even more by feeling the tightness, rhythm, fullness, hollowness, and depth of their pulses. I loved to put my ring, middle, and index fingers on their pulses to hush their talking and let their bodies speak. I could hear their livers grumble, the stomachs cry out, and their bladders push to create a territory
Ultimately I think this is why I was able to experience the same with my lover who died and communicated to me on my computerscreen from the other side. His consciousness lived on. I knew it was NOT about the words that appeared on my screen, not about all the messages he was sending me, not about chatting to heaven. But way beyond that, I was able to feel, and sense and hear, and especially smell all the realms he was going through. I was able to experience how hell sounds, how heaven smells, how depression feels, how darkness screams, how numbness looks like, how denial vibrates, how our deepest desires sound. How dying is such an incredible transformative process. This kind of perception is with our other senses, not limited by our physical body.
What I learned is, the ultimate end is not the End, when we die we still exist and continue to exist. Leaving behind who we were, our old identity, beyond the obvious, beyond the surface, beyond your achievements, beyond words, beyond this world even. It is not about how many facebook friends you have, how succesful you are, the money you make, the stuff you own.
The ultimate gift you can give another being is going out of your own way and see the other for who she truly is. Wherever she is in her life, beyond this life, or even before they are born.
When my daughter was still in my womb, still invisible for those nine months. I would connect to her, I would do my deep listening with her. She would show herself to me, she would show herself every day in a different way. My human mind was trying to grab her. Trying to know, if she was a boy or a girl, if she was this or that, but each day she was saying: I am not who you think you are, I am not that, I am not One thing or the other, don’t think that you can put me in a box, don’t even try to grasp me. I would perceive us as two monks sitting in a monastery eating rice together and deciding to incarnate together, I would perceive her as an energy ball, I would perceive her as an old man, as a warrior, as a dolphin, a young girl, a baby, as magic energy.
The list goes on and on. But always she would demand me: See me for who I really am. That is the biggest gift you can give me.
More then ever, in this information age, in this age of moving so fast, deep listening is a skill that is desperately needed. Because it will detect truth, it will cut through the BS, it will go beyond distractions, it will show a much larger perspective of who we are and what we came here to do.
So the next time when you are looking for a gift for somebody: Just breathe with them and allow yourself to feel, all there is to feel. Even at a great distance… And see what happens…
Christel is a Qigong Artist, Writer and Author of ‘Forty-Nine Days, A sensuous Journey in the Modern Afterlife. She is the founder of Spontaneous Movement, and offers retreats and classes in Hawaii to allow ‘a bigger reality to speak through you.’ Find her at: www.spontaneousmovement.com or www.christeljanssen.com