Did Michael Phelps just sorta defend Ryan Lochte AND imply they have the same PR agency?

I planned to stop post about Ryan Lochte to move on to other things that matter, but for one more truly priceless moment, check out this quote by fellow White Male Olympian Michael Phelps. It’s captured on video, but for those of you who don’t have time to watch the 15 second clip I have helpfully transcribed a portion.

“Do you think it’s all going to work out?”
“We have good people taking care of it, so hopefully.”

The author responds to this by saying “Best bros are ride or die”. Indeed.

Hey Michael Phelps, if I ever get into legal trouble for not one but TWO DUIs or go on national television to pretend to be a victim of a fake crime, can you give me the name and number of your PR person(s)? I’d appreciate the hookup as they seem terrific.

No worries if they’re too busy right now, perhaps representing John Avlon from The Daily Beast as he deals with his Gay Outing Scandal or the Cubs leadership as they try to quiet the fact that a DJ played a protest song about an unrepentant pitcher named Chapman who committed domestic violence and they fired the DJ but defended the pitcher. I have no immediate plans to falsify any police reports or get any DUIs (or out any Olympians in countries where homosexuality may or may not be illegal or hire any pitcher who fire bullets at their wives and allegedly choked them or fire any DJs for playing protest songs). I can wait. I’ve got time.

Also Michael, if I may be blunt, I am not sure that was the best statement to make about this. I know that Ryan is 32 and you are only 31 and you might think you can say anything as you are just a kid having fun, but at the very minimum you might give your PR people a headache and distract them from other things they could be doing, like, again, keeping the Daily Beast story quiet for John Avlon for instance. Just thinking out loud here, sorry if I offend. :) :) ;).*

Seriously though, can you hook a sister up? I don’t even need the representation. I’d just love to get brunch. Let me know, have your people write a comment on this blog. I will be waiting.

*This winky face brought to you by 9 Non-Threatening Leadership Strategies for Women, courtesy of The Cooper Review. Read more athttp://thecooperreview.com/non-threatening-leadership-stra…/

‪#‎olympics‬ ‪#‎rio2016‬ ‪#‎michaelphelps‬ ‪#‎wemustalldobetter‬ ‪#‎iwillnotbequiet‬

(Article via Aaron Mansfield at Complex, who is this humble human’s opinion might have buried the lead on this story).

Editor’s Note: I have been writing about the Ryan Lochte story since it started four days ago on my Facebook feed, to the ire of my Facebook friends who have accused me of everything from “sounding a bit ‘too guilty until proven innocent” to having an “immediate victim blaming mentality before we had all the facts.” to being “a little sadistic”. I even had the rape card played against me, a la “What if this happened with a woman who claimed she got raped and everyone immediately started asking questions and poking holes in her story? I’m sure you wouldn’t take kindly to that.” I disagree with these claims but am open minded and sharing them in case it speaks to bias. Other potential biases are that I am a woman, I consider myself both a raging feminist and a social justice warrior, I have been the victim of an actual armed robbery (in a nail salon in the daytime in SF no less, true story, it was weird but trust me I am fine), and I don’t particularly like swimming.