The once and future queen.
An open love letter to my future bride.
Dear Mrs. Rivas —
There are a great many things going through my mind of late revolving around you, and I am finally sitting down to acknowledge them. I am as excited to write this without knowing who you are, as I am to one day see you read it. Naturally, being an open letter you may have already done so. But believe me, one day you & I will read it together. When we’ve both figured out that you are, in fact, quote/un-quote…
“the one”
As I’m typing this, I’m listening to the song that reflects my mood about us the most currently — B.oB.—So Good.
It’s happy, light, and hopeful. It outlines a woman that stands out from the rest in his eyes, and a future like she’s never imagined. When we partner up, we’ll change the world. Our life, and love, will impact everyone we know. But I’m getting ahead of myself…
a glance over the shoulder, with a smile
I look at life like a journey, not a destination. Cliche? Sure. Perhaps a bit trite even. And I comfortably accept that on any given journey — you have to have come from some-when. We’ve all written pages in our own life about who we are, where we are headed, amazing things we’ve done, and mistakes we’ve made. There is a history between inception and our paths crossing. I don’t mind looking back, it’s part of who we are. Sure, it can be a bit touchy — but it is still always a part of the steps one takes toward their end.
Everyone we’ve loved, lost, and everything in between. A few tears, some scars. It’s part of life. I hope you don’t have too many, but I also hope you have a few. More importantly, I hope you learned a bit about who you are from them. Most importantly, I hope you were madly in love and happy. I hope your story has been as beautiful, and maybe even as ugly, as mine has been. We’ll swap stories a few times over an amazing tea.
a mind for the present, with determination
There’s only two directions we can go really. We can traverse backwards with memories of the past, or we can look forward in time toward the future. Each breath you take right now connects those two ends to the point on that line. That point is this moment right now. And almost as quickly as you draw a point on your line in the present, it is relegated to a memory to make room for the next present moment. And the next.
We can’t predict these, we can only breathe in as they start, and breathe out as they exit. And we can either spend them looking backward as they pass, or looking forward for the next one. In either case, we miss the one we have in our hand right now.
And as much as we might have hope for our future that’s really just a fancy way to express that we can’t wait to share those breaths (together) that connect us to the present. It’s great to look forward to that, but it’s so very important to stay connected to the right now. That’s the only moment that we can learn from the past, and make adjustments to change our direction to the future. If you can see where you’ve been, you can see where you’re headed. But you can’t adjust unless you do it in one of those short breaths that defines the present.
Everything that I see ahead, good and bad, about our future I know is possible because of what I am (and hopefully you are) doing right now. It’s not some fantasy or far-fetched thought. I’m doing things right now, today, that are setting us up for an amazing time together. And like the song above so happily lyrics, I’m confident that I’ll have you living life like you should, and you’ll be saying things like you’ve “never had it so good.”
For now, I’m living in my present. And you in yours. That’s all anyone can really ever do. But let’s segue ahead to a few of those breath-points on our line that have yet to come. Just for a bit.
an eye for the future, with hope
This part is the easiest. Anyone reading this letter can, and often does do this part. We assess our past, we look in our hands at our present, and then we look up toward the future. The human mind is fabulous at taking that vast empty unknown, and painting on it. Rendering the most fantastic things, realistic and unrealistic, on to the blank canvas that is present when someone begs “Where do you see yourself in the future?”
Cars. Women. Money. Big houses. Six kids. A minivan. Little Joey wins soccer. Bali. Madly in love. Buying an island. Pension. That promotion you wanted. Tickets to see King James in the NBA Finals. Meeting Miesha Tate. Patching things up with a friend. Pets. A trip to Mars. Extinguishing world hunger. The lottery.
I mean this quite literally, the list is nearly infinite. And it’s unique for everyone. Some of those things above I have no interest in. Others, yea I’d love to. Any given mind on the planet can add to or redact from that list. Make it their own. Almost everyone has something they are a little bit hopeful for. Some people, just want to eat something warm for a change. Some people want to buy cars that cost a few hundred warm meals just to drive to the store and back.
It’s all different, but it’s all the same. It’s hope based imagination. It’s aspiration toward things that you think will make you happiest or that you’ll enjoy living with the most.
“But…what about our future?”, you might ask.
I’m glad you asked. Err well, I’m glad I wrote that you asked, the rest of this makes much more sense now. This part I suppose, is equally vivid as it is vague. Sure, we can both dream up a ton of things. We can get imaginitive. We can leave fuzzy details out. We can get specific.
It’s fun, but I think it misses a bit of the point. The point is, in our future…
we are together.
And as cheeky as that might sound, that’s enough. When we’re together, we’ll both be dedicated. We’ll both be passionate. We’ll both be in love. I’m confident in that, because anyone else reading this letter that may do those things with me until I meet you — won’t pan out. And the same can be said about your path. Our future, isn’t about the things, places, or relationships we have right now. Our future is about us. Together.
We’ll take care of each other. We’ll fight and argue. We’ll make decisions. We’ll spend time apart. We’ll make love. We’ll rekindle the spark. We’ll change the world. We’ll finish the last few pages of our lives in tandem, writing with and for each other as we wind down toward taking that breath signifiying our last dot on our timeline.
And more importantly than the past, present, or future — we’ll have all three. Maybe I’ve met you already. Maybe you’re in my life right now. Maybe I won’t meet you for awhile. Maybe I will, but we won’t start just yet. I don’t know that part. But I know you could be reading this right now. You might be reading this because your friend read this and shared it with you, over joyed because she knew this was to you.
Either way it’s going to be fabulous, Princess. I’ve had a great time, shared a great many experiences, and will continue to do so…
…But I can’t wait to meet you, to find you some day. That’s why I wrote this openly. Maybe it’s a message in a modern day bottle. Maybe it’s the internet reminiscent of a glass slipper. Maybe it travels the globe, and swirls past you a few times. Maybe no one reads it, and I show it to you some day. Maybe it’s lost before we ever meet and someone else finds it long after we’re gone. Who knows?
So smile, and pack your bags real good baby. Cause you’ll be gone for awhile.
I love you,
Stephen
