Why I Cry Often
I am an emotional person. I experience very intense emotions all the time and all my friends and family can attest to that. When I am happy and find something funny, I laugh to the point of nearly wetting my pants and tears rolling down my face. When I’m angry, I get so enraged that I throw things, break things, yell, and sob. When I am moved by something, inspired by something, proud of something, I cry.
When someone finally succeeds after hours of trying, I cry. When I watch Grey’s Anatomy and someone gets married or a patient dies, I cry. When I watch the news and hear yet another bombing, when I see the face that an Olympian makes the minute they cross the finish line and realize they won gold, when I read another article about another human being shot by another cop, when I hear about another rape and another case where the victim is put to shame and to blame, I cry. I cry a lot, I cry often.
I used to be really embarrassed of how intensely I felt my emotions, how easily I cried over things. I mean, when you think of a strong leader, someone you respect, someone you find as an equal partner to work with, you don’t think about someone who cries. You think of someone who can withstand everything. Who never backs down, who tackles everything with strength and wisdom, who comes out unscathed. No one respects the person who cries, and I wanted (still do) to be the person people respect, and I just didn’t think I could get that when being seen as emotional.
But then I started seeing the alternative, if I did not feel so much, I would become the person that does not feel at all: the apathetics of the world. The ones who are never moved, never touched. The ones that truly cause this world pain, because the root of our problems are people not treating people as people. Our problems and the evils of our world are deeply rooted in a history of people never trying to care or see from the perspective of another human being.
I cry because I feel for the world and the people in it. I cry because I hurt and ache for the lives that are lost, for the voices that are forced into hiding, and for the people treated as anything less than human. I cry because people deserve to have someone cry for them. They deserve to have someone listening to them, rooting for them, someone to tell them, “This is not the worst thing, you will overcome this, this is not it for you.” Whether it is my sister, my parents, my best friend, a person on the internet, I cry when I see you succeed, I cry when I know you are hurting. I cry because I love, fully, fiercely, and furiously.
And I cry because I am human.
There is nothing wrong with loving so deeply that it hurts. Our emotions, our feelings, having empathy for those we do not know, it is what makes us human. And being human is not a weakness.