America For Sale

It would seem everything coming out of Washington is for sale these days. Ivanka’s clothing line, “Make America Great Again” hats, t-shirts and baseball bats, Russian sanctions, and just about everything you can stamp a giant letter T on. While all this is reported to be on the legal up and up, the moral ramifications stretch beyond any possible imagination.

Try as I may I can envision no other president in history delving into anything remotely close to the absurdities coming out of this White House. Can you imagine an Obama line of Hawaiian casual wear, G.W. Bush commemorative pistol set, The Gerald Ford golf set, Or the Richard Nixon matching Crystal Scotch Decanter and ashtray set?

There is nothing sacred and unavailable to purchase right now from DT and family.

But my favorite by far is the Mar-a-Lago Club membership opportunities. If you were smart and got in on the ground floor BEFORE DT became president you received the bargain basement price of only $200,00o, but now that DT is big cheese numero uno its going to cost you another $100,000. Those new napkins with the presidential seal don’t come cheap mister!

There is no shortage of loyal followers ready to pony up that cash to rub elbows with the commander-in-chief and maybe even get to share some national security secrets while eating your shrimp cocktail.

I am afraid however this club is a little out of my price range, not to mention I don’t own a pair of golf shoes, probably give off some kind of commie bastard scent and would never get within one hundred yards of the place. I have obtained a brochure of the club however and I must say I am a little jealous that I will never become a member. These are just a sample of membership perks:

First Friday Fashion Shows — Exciting new Ivanka lines every month (these are new, not discontinued items that the crooked media and unbelievably bad failing stores choose to discredit and or discontinue. The retail value of the Ivanka line has gone up unbelievably well or even better.)

Karaoke With Kelly — Join Kelly Ann Conway every other Wednesday for crazy sing-a-long fun out on the patio. She likes to make up some of her own lyrics just to keep you on your toes. Tip: don’t call her out on it, we’re just having fun.

Nightly world class entertainment like Scott Baio, Comedian Benny Youngman (Henny Youngman’s nephew), singing group Up With People and thousands more.

Revolving dinner theater shows. 2017 shows include the world premier of Donald And The Technicolor Dreamworld, Revival of Springtime For Hitler, and Crime And Punishment The Musical.

Democratic Piñata night — for an extra $10,000 charitable donation to the Trump foundation you get to choose a personalized democrat piñata of your choice. Obama, crooked Hillary, Pocahontas? Anything goes. Steve Bannon is your host for this night of hilarity. The club even brings in a limited number of Mexicans (legal) to make this an authentic experience.

Bag-O-Swag: every club member gets their own Huge Bag-O-Swag filled with all manor of Trump meats, wine, salad dressing, hair products and a one of a kind replica of the nuclear launch code key (just like the real one if the big guy makes the call).

These are just a sample of some of the fun things your membership brings. You better act soon however, membership is limited and by the looks of things so is Trump’s presidential term.

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