Recently, I had to sell a lot of items from my home because I am trying to be a minimalist. Of course, the word has my own meaning that can be different from what the world thinks of it. Anyway, below is the list of items I was selling.
- A maze shaped sofa. Excellent condition. Perfect for uninvited guests and for guests who ‘drop by’ without calling.
- Hulk sized cot-sparingly used. The cot is perfect for a family of four with another family of ten soft toys sleeping cozily together.
- One TV unit with a bookshelf and a hidden tunnel that can hide your stash of.. whatever. Excellent condition. The tunnel is password and captcha protected. The password and captcha come for an extra price.
- A curved Asian sword. The edge of the sword is on the convex side of the beauty. Perfect for notifying noisy neighbors of their decibel levels.
- A chair that stands with poise on all fours. One leg has a scratch, but that does not deter its wooden spirit. Buyer will definitely not get a feeling of shoeburyness. (check Urban Dictionary for the word.)
- The Official Guide to GRE. I’m also throwing in an unofficial guide on ‘what-not-to-do’ for the exam based on first hand experience. The unofficial guide comes for free!
- An oven.
- A blanket, sparingly used.
- A collection of vintage pebbles collected from various places. Priceless but comes for a price.
Let me know if you are interested. Genuine buyers only.
An interested candidate sends followup questions:
Buyer: Can you send pics of the items? Also, tell us your number.
Me: Item list with pics is available here. (*hyperlinked*). Prices mentioned on the list. My number is:9876543210
Buyer: Do you have a single cot?
Me: No. I have a Hulk cot.
Buyer: Can you sell a single cot?
Me: I have a Hulk cot.
Buyer: Is the oven a microwave oven, a stove oven, or an oven oven?
Me: It is an oven that is spelled O-V-E-N.
Buyer: What kind of a blanket is it?
Me: As per the picture on the list, the blanket is a Genie blanket. It is a magic flying blanket that can transport you to places when you run out of gas. When you are not flying on it, you can use it on your bed.
Buyer: You didn’t tell me about the oven.
Me: Are you kidding me? Have you seen the photo?
Buyer: You are sick.
Me: You don’t get the pebbles.
Buyer: Absolutely sick.
Me: The items with revised prices are on the same list. (*increases prices for all items*)
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