LDR, and how I (try to) work it out.
My bed is empty and cold without you.
Right now, at this very moment, I am in a long distance relationship; or LDR, as we’ll say it later on, with my partner. It’s been like this for the last 8 months, since he needs to go back to England, to works on some of the stuffs up there before anything. And so far, we enjoy this, even if it’s not ideal for us.
Is it hard? Duh, yeah! I’m quite clingy when it comes to relationships. Being apart from my partner; ten thousand miles and 6–7 hours difference, is hard. I was pretty skeptical before, not just with the LDR, but with the whole idea of relationships. Even when you guys are living in one city, you or your partner could up to something shady; how can you be sure that nothing will happen when you’re apart from each other, that far away?
The answer is, you don’t know. No one will know. It goes back to how you and your partner want the relationship to work out. I remember, when I was at his house, having a family dinner, before he went back to England the next day, and saw him eating beside me, and wondering: Is it gonna worth it? Is it gonna work out the way we want it to?
I often ask him, what is it that makes him want to work things out between us, and his answers, calm my weary mind. But, living in many kinds of insecurities, that’s been growing inside my mind for years of bitter experiences with past relationships, obviously makes the whole LDR, harder than it should be. We do fight because of my insecurities, and that could make things even harder.
But then, days turn to months, and we become closer than ever. He becomes the person I confide to, we share the things we never even shared to anyone else, and suddenly, all the difficulties become a lot easier. Life itself, become easier for both of us. No matter how difficult the problems we face, we become each others rock and LDR seems easier.
I think he will agree with me in this, and maybe you guys too, that trust is the number one key in any relationship; romantically speaking, or just platonic. You and the other party need to trust each other, and keep it that way, so no one will betray each other. Trust is as fragile as a glass; when you break it, no matter how hard you try to put it back together, it won’t repair the damage. I trust him, and even though it’s scary as f*ck, he trusts me too.
The other thing will be, that I don’t listen to what other people says about my relationship, or LDR in general way, anymore. When you share too much about your relationship with other people, they’ll try to apply their own thoughts and agenda. It’s almost impossible, if it’s still exist, that there’s a person out there that will give a neutral comments about your relationship. Everyone have their own mind, and are free to express opinions, just don’t let it get to you.
My advice? Trust your instinct; if your instinct say it’s gonna work, then it will work, no matter how hard it is. If your instinct say meh, then just get the f*ck out of it. It won’t do you justice to put yourself in a relationship that’s not gonna work, especially if it’s an abusive one. Seriously, get the f*ck out, and believe me, you deserve better.
All and all, a healthy relationship will make you feel as light as a feather; it won’t be a burden or harm you in any way. It will push you to be more positive, and will mature you in every way. And, as this LDR goes, we both believe that our hard works will eventually give us the result that we want and need. Lastly, good luck to you and your partner! :)