Adul(tree) of Thoughts
Nov 3 · 3 min read

PSA: Here’s How You Can Practice *Actual* Self-Care

If you’re here waiting to read some validation on how it’s okay to eat buckets of ice-cream just because you’re sad: wrong place, friend. This one’s not copied off the web so you may want to keep a check on that.

Having closely dealt with anxiety, I kid you not, self-care is really hard. There is no other adjective/synonym/metaphor that you can use to trivialize it: it’s just hard. If you’re an over-thinker just like me (hey, nice to meet you btw), your first reflex will always be blaming yourself. Phrases like “It’s all because of me”, “I shouldn’t have”, “I always fuck it up” etc. can be easily found on those open tabs in your head. One rule: Shut it out.

This isn’t a therapy piece but just a bunch of things I practice on a daily basis (‘cos I really do mess up that often) and putting it out here for anyone who needs it. Because, why not?

Call Yourself Out On Your Own Shit

Our easiest reflex in any argument is to victimize ourselves in order to prove we’re not wrong, just suffering. It’s pretty simple — if you goofed up, accept it. Be honest to yourself, call yourself out because it is absolutely human of you to make mistakes.

Apologize

To others and also to yourself. If you’ve hurt someone, intentionally or not, say sorry. Apologizing never goes out of trend. Wear it with pride. If you’ve hurt yourself in keeping someone else happy, apologize to yourself because you are as much a part of yourself, as anybody else in your life. Pro tip: helps you feel lighter and makes you sleep better.

Do One Thing Everyday That Makes You Happy

I am pretty shit at art but in my most anxious moments, coloring has helped me calm my mind and all those thoughts ready to engulf me. Listen to your favorite music, dance, cook, go for a run, paint, create — do whatever but do something. It helps, I promise.

Listen To Your Gut

That tiny voice inside your head that makes you do dumb, impulsive things? Listen to it. It may not feel right instantly, but that’s how your mind communicates to you. Something doesn’t feel right? Don’t do it. You have a good feeling about someone? Go for it. Living in denial did nobody any good.

Give Yourself Another Chance

We all do things we shouldn’t have. People are not going to stick around because they don’t owe it to you. You know who you really owe another chance? Yourself. Why? Because who else will? If you can’t bring up enough courage to help yourself heal, it’s literally game over.

Say 3 Things You Love About Yourself: EVERYDAY

And say it loud. All the time you spend validating others, give yourself a compliment too. Appreciate yourself too. Make yourself laugh too. Come on, try it. It’s addictive.

Take It Easy

Every time life gets too tough, breathe. Trust the timing. Everything happens at the right time, learn to wait through your tears.

Communicate

It’s not easy to talk and communicate exactly how you’re feeling. And honestly, most often people are also not quite easy to talk to. But find a medium to communicate. Try writing? Maybe talk to a plant? Point being, speak about your emotions as loud as you can and then take 5 deep breaths.

Believe That Good Things Can Happen To You

It’s so easy for all the negativity to overpower us. Our young, dumb hearts can take a blow so easily that it becomes difficult to believe anything good could happen to us. Count your blessings, be grateful for everything that made you who you are today.

There’s really no right way to end this piece, just like there’s no stop to practicing self-care. Give yourself some love, you deserve it. If it’s any help, I’m in this with you too :)

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