I am sorry for what happened.
I imagine how hard it can be for you.
You are in a shock for a lot of things happen at the same time.
Anyway, I am feeling the same.
I only have $30 in my wallet (I live in Bali so I can still survive with this amount for a few days), no motorbike as my main stransportation and I am now renting it and have no source of income to pay for next month, I paid my rent for next month already though but I do not know how I will pay for next two months, I am estranged from my father due to the physical violence he did and my sister is invalidating and so is the rest of my relatives.
In Bali, I should have got a job due to my fluency in English but there is nothing that feels right and honestly, I am not interested in working for other people but it seems like it will be my last choice to survive.
I want to write but I still have a lot of fear.
And I am now procrastinating.
Whenever I felt like I am about to be depressed, I shower, I cleaned up my face, I clean up my room, I meditated, and I read. So far, I am not suicidal.
So, you are not alone.
You have been through a lot before and in my experience because you have been brave enough to make tough decisions, you will have the adrenalin and want to do something even more challenging but more meaningful.
Good luck for both of us.