A tribute to the WhatsApp Warriors who protect our nation!
If you could afford 180 ml of brandy and quarter plate chicken biryani you could hire a political coolie in the India of 1990s. If you had enough money you could mobilise a politically-charged mob.
They’d attend meetings of rival camps, boo at the speakers, and throw rotten eggs and tomatoes at them. They’d be versatile too — should the need arise, they’d not be averse to breaking a bone or more to help silence those questioning their paymasters.
In a sense, members of the mob behaved like patriarchal guardians of democracy. They would decide who could love her and how much.
Today, thanks to the penetration of social media, they have been relegated to the second line of offense. Their position has been taken over by digital coolies. I may might call them coolies, but we are talking here about white- collar professionals — people who can speak in English and use a computer or smartphone. These guys don’t come cheap; they demand monthly salaries and performance incentives.

So, the new system goes like this: Digital coolies spread hatred and spark violence on social media with their not-so-well-crafted messages. These make way into millions of smartphones, to be viewed at leisure. From here, the ‘educated illiterates’ of India will take over.
Educated illiterates (their ability to read is restricted to just headlines) are blue-blooded warriors who don’t demand any money for their ‘services’. They are fighting for a higher cause! Their ranks comprise of retired upper caste middle class uncles, college-going upper caste middle class boys and accomplished upper caste middle class businessmen.
They are the ones who unwaveringly circulate the messages on family WhatsApp groups. They foam at the mouth over invisible threats to their religion and sentiments. They take undue pride in their caste “superiority”. They are more concerned about the shape of our nation (may you rot in hell Radcliffe!) than the state of our affairs.
They flood their social networks—family, friends and mere acquaintances—with explosive text messages. It makes them feel like real warriors, fighting to save their caste and religion from obscure ideas like social justice. It doesn’t matter to them if the contents are fake or insensitive.
With this, the baton is passed on to political mobs who use the social media conversations to spark violence in the streets. Houses and shops are burnt down. Poor people, who have no choice but to walk, sleep and shit on roadsides are killed. WhatsApp uncles in the vicinity will dare not venture out on such days — thank god for work from home options.
WhatsApp warriors elsewhere add fuel to the fire. They “sell Burnol” to concerned citizens who question the violence. They will dole out rape/death threats, spread fake news with conviction, and grab every will not miss an opportunity to capitalisze on the tragedy.
Then, there are these educated semi-literates (they willwho read the headline and first paragraph of the news and reports). They are the apologists of the majority community. They don’t call for violence but passive-aggressively push their religious and caste hegemony on social media. Their idea of a caste-free society is not to talk about caste atrocities.
“Why does this paid media say Dalit man killed by caste Hindu for marrying his daughter? Why do they have to bring caste into everything? Why can’t they just publish man kills man?” Simple, right? Their logic is very simple, and simply messed up.
My first encounter with such people was on my family’s WhatsApp group. Take for instance my uncle — an entrepreneur — who who believes that the majority religious group in this country is under constant threat. ‘We need to be vigilant and teach our future generations to watch out!’
Then there is this aunt — an English teacher at a ‘Hindu Missionary’ school — who believes the ruling government should not be questioned or held responsible for things that go wrong. ‘The media, political parties and free thinkers want to target HIM because he’s doing such good work!’
Then there is my father, who was a trade unionist for 20 long years before he made the ‘right’ turn. After a heated conversation on the state of affairs in the country, he tells me: ‘The “media only wants to look at the negatives in this government. It is only the social media that is circulating positive news.’”
I took the effort to sit down and show him how almost all of that forward messages with the subtext ‘but mainstream media will never show you this’ are basically fake news. His reply was simple: “’People like you just want to diss this government.’” I shut up.
Based on my interactions with the educated semi-literates, I have learnt one thing: They truly and deeply believe that the numerous things incidences happening around them are part of one big conspiracy to undermine their religion and caste. Foreign media, local media (barring the North Korean channels), authors, books, the United Nations, NGOs, research reports, academia, JNU, secularism, are all confounded enemies. They are convinced that ‘social justice’ is a concept designed to undermine them.
A good chunk of these people I know were very different till a few years back. They might not have been above the caste system, but I have heard them pester their Muslim neighbours, weeks in advance, for Ramzan biryani and haleem. I have seen them decorate their houses in December with Christmas trees and star lights.
Today, they flash a nervous smile at these neighbours, while tightly clutching their concealed smartphones, fully loaded with explosive forward messages.
