One to Ten

As I pull her hand, we sat on a solid chair, hiding our bodies from cold afternoon breezes because the sun shines only mildly. I light up my cigarette and She opened her late-lunch box.

What’s wrong?”, She said.

Ask me my scale”, I replied.

On the scale of 1 to 10, how much is your emotional state?”, while eating with ease.

Minus six”, I sighed. “I feel humiliated in front of hundreds of people, he doesn’t have to cut me off. I’m not finished, just please let me finish.

“Well, you just ran out of time”, She replied

“No, I think he doesn’t believe in me”, my head bowed down.

“Honestly, your presentation is on point. But it’s just you being senpai, you, as always, forget to build the bridges. They’re kids, they don’t even get what is ‘concept’.”, She said.

“Hhhhh….”, I blow the smoke of my cigarette, “I have one question”

“What is it?”

“Do you think I’m interesting in person?”

“Hahahahahahahaha”, She laughed so hard. “Are you seriously asking me that? You are not on the league of ‘interesting’, you’re larger than life!”, Her eyes bugged out.

“Maybe that’s why… People only like my myths, my persona. But the real me? Meh… Too much to handle.”

“Everyone is mythicising everyone, but your charm is the kind of charm that is distant, like the Sun. I think the problem is you, you’re the one that is not interested in people. That’s why, the one who could get close to you is the one who could leave 74 messages in the morning. The one who doesn’t care if you’re interested in them or not and still try to come closer. Someone crazy who have no shame.”, She stared right into my eyes and smiled. “I’m very proud to have you as one of your closest friend.”

“…”, silence had me. “That’s true. I’m too arrogant.”

“Whatever you think about right now, remember that what matters to people is about how you made them feel…”, She mutters, “…and you triggers a lot of emotions in me. You know, sadness, anger, happiness, affection, everything.”

“But still. Too many changes in 3 months I feel very emotionally overwhelmed.”

“….Still in bad mood? Pinch me.”, She pointed her right arm to me.

“What? No.”, I startled.

“Pinch my arm”

I pinched her arm, softly.

Harder”, She said.

“No, no… I never could do that to you.”, I shook my head.

“See? You may look cold, but you couldn’t even pinch my arm. That’s why I stick with you. Remember. The greater the light, the harder the shade.”, She smiled.

“Everyone is waiting for you”, She lend her hand.

“Ask me my scale”, I said

On the scale of 1 to 10, how much is your emotional state?

“Plus One”, I smirked, my signature half-smile.

Then She smiled.

The greater the light, the harder the shade.

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