If You are Struggling with Self-Hatred — This is for You
Accepting yourself again when you start feeling otherwise
Why we might end up hating ourselves
Our soul, our inner self, our conscience- whatever you call it strives for perfection. In the eyes of other people, it is easy to pretend who we are not, to cover up our faults, our blemishes and our mistakes. But we are always naked to ourselves. Deep inside- we always remember exactly who we are, what we did, and what we are supposed to do.
Self blame starts as a small voice in your head- ‘it all happened because of you’, ‘you are useless’, ‘everyone is better off without you’, it says. We might probably just brush it off and carry on with our lives.
But there are times when circumstances make us weak, vulnerable, and — that is when this voice gets louder. The point isn’t whether we are really a ‘bad’ and ‘undeserving’ person, what really starts this loop of self- despise is that we start to believe it. We start suffocating from within.
There are two worst emotions in this world- self-pity and self-despise.
The cycle of self-loathe
We may have parents, family or friends who might be extremely loving to us. Or we might have the job others dream about or a swoon-worthy relationship. From the outside, it may even seem like we are living in a perfect little world.
But deep inside we suffocate, we hold ourselves responsible for the scars of our past or regard ourselves as the reason of distress of our loved ones or worst still, of the death of our dreams. Or it might be an addiction that we are trying so hard to get rid of but it has got us in an iron grip and now we are a slave to it.
As we lose control over certain aspects of our life, a sort of helplessness emerges from the core of our being. This slowly morphs into a sense of self-hatred and a feeling of a deep disappointment rises within oneself.
This is a cycle because self-loathe makes you weak and that weakness binds you again to your initial cause of hatred which produces more dissatisfaction in oneself.
It is like a deadlock. It is as if you say- I won’t go in water until I learn to swim. A fallacy.
Seeking Forgiveness from Oneself
You have to remember that you are not your enemy. For your own self- you might be the only lifelong trusted companion.
You have to be kind to yourself, even when you feel like punishing yourself for your failures.
There is no one else who can heal you the way you can. For only you know the true root cause of your despair. Maybe it is something that can no longer be resolved or eliminated. What should you do in this case?
If you want your life to be beautiful again, you have to learn to let go. You have to seek your own forgiveness- the forgiveness of your inner self .
You have to sit and resolve the inner conflict you have. Negotiate with yourself what you won’t do anymore if you are forgiven and finally, truly forgive yourself.
But you must remember to keep the promise you made in return for this forgiveness, for one cannot fool oneself.
Every new day you see, is a fresh chance towards a better life.
Throw away the stale ideas, the blames and regrets. For living a good life, people often think they need the blessings of a higher power. But once try to truly bless yourself and see the magic those blessings will bring in your life.
When you truly wish for your own good, you will feel less inclined to your destructive tendencies that destroy the beautiful life you have worked so hard to build.
The Possibilities of Future
I wish one thing, for you dear reader to remember, even if you forget everything else. That is — Don’t douse the Burning Stars. You possess limitless potential. You have the power to shape your future and define your reality. These unworthy things that have you stressed out with your own self are not deserving of your soul force.
There are millions of possibilities the future holds, but only one of them becomes your destiny.
If you embrace yourself completely- you will be able to build the most beautiful reality for yourself.
Believe in that and Believe in Yourself. You have come so far, you can go even further. The beauty of life will never cease, as long as you are tolerant towards your own self. The power of self-compassion should not be underestimated.