The Final Weeks

Due to unfortunate dilemmas in my personal life, I was unable to maintain my musings of an intern blog on a weekly basis. So, as my final creative endeavour, I present:

Week 7–9: An Epic of My Final Weeks at Alliance (Suck it, Homer!)

Some of the more memorable experience of the past three weeks include meeting social activist Janice Rothschild and being assigned the task of “wrangling her.” This was not something she took well, but I think she got over equestrian connotation of the phrase when we bonded over our love for a good leather purse.

That entire Temple Bombing workshop was a memorable event as of late. Mainly going to Publix to buy the snacks for everyone. A tip to anyone shopping for development teams: shop like you’re buying the snacks for a middle school soccer team. It worked great. I cannot tell you how many compliments I got for just buying Oreos. The highlight of Publix was definitely being able to wield the power of Company Money. I didn’t even flinch when the cashier told me my total! I just swiped the card! It was like doing coke (OK, not like doing coke, considering I’ve never done coke. Maybe it was more like watching Say Yes to The Dress on Hulu. That is so addicting. You like drama? Watch that show. It’s next level drama.) To quote Kanye, no one man should have all that power.

Another exciting experience was sitting in on the first table reading for the first play this season, The Prom. Unfortunately, this happened the day after I downloaded Pokemon Go, so I also caught a Zubat on top of the head of Casey Nicholaw, the Tony Nominated director for plays like The Book of Mormon and Tuck Everlasting. But, no big deal. Sitting in on the table reading was really fun though, plus there were bagels and I have never complained about carbs ever in my life.

The past few weeks I also did tons of picture research for The Prom and Too Heavy For Your Pocket. I also looked up every rendition of Cinderella ever made in Hollywood. My personal favorites include Señorella and The Glass Huaranche from 1964:

And the version of Cinderella where Whitney Houston plays the Fairy Godmother to Brandy:

(Take a moment to appreciate Brandy’s eyebrows circa 1997.)

Truly, a timeless story.

Another high point of the past few weeks was when I presented during the final EASL meeting at Emory. For the presentation, I had to share what I did, what I learned, and how it relates to servant leadership. Due to the fact that I had to dogsit a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever with explosive diarrhea, I was actually late that day. Which was unfortunate, since because I was late, my group also decided I needed to introduce the project as well. According to Alliance Theatre Extraordinaire Emily Kleypas, despite the fact that I was really winging this entire presentation (a fact I shouldn’t reveal publicly) at least I “had the most energy out of the group.” It’s whatever though, everyone was probably food buzzed on all that free Med Grill.

Over this summer, I’ve accumulated a few tips for those who wish to apply to this internship position

These include:

1. Look up what “equity” means immediately
2. Also figure out how to use the printer
3. Keep bandaids on deck for the papercuts you’re about to get
4. Keep tissues on deck for the development workshops you’re going to sit in on
5. Take advantage of the free food
6. Be sure to walk up the hill from the Marta station so that you can burn off the calories from all that free food
7. Be very nice to Patrick, because I’m pretty sure he is the real boss of this office.

Now, although I have these tips, my internship has left me with a lot of questions. Consider the following:

1. Why did the refrigerator smell that bad for so long?
2. Is someone in this office putting out the Lures at the Pokestop in our building?
3. Does anyone else get copy room anxiety?
4. And finally, why doesn’t anyone talk about the elephant in the room? Literally, there’s a pink elephant in the room and no one has ever talked about it.

Now, this summer has not been all fun and games. I’ve had some low points in this office. Mainly the papercuts I’ve gotten from scripts. Also the time Emily and I had to schlep like 50 chairs down the slow elevator to the first floor. You can’t tell because I’m always wearing sweaters (this office feels like a meat locker) but I do not have Kelly Ripa arms! I have weak, weak baby arms! Freakishly small, tiny arms! So that experience was physically painful. That slow elevator is a nightmare in itself. Aside from being unbearably slow, it’s also really hot. So it’s just like a slow descent into the seventh layer of Hell, except not really because the production level really isn’t that bad at all. Also, since I ate so much of that free food, I gained like 5 pounds, and that’s all in my thighs. No butt, just thighs. But that’s really it as far as negative work experiences.

Some of my favorite experiences working here obviously, include the food, but also all the random crap I learned. Did you know Sam Cooke was shot in a hotel by the owner in 1964? Or did you know that Florida’s oldest high school crowned a same sex couple prom king and queen? Did you understand the plot of Moby Dick from when you read it in high school? Yeah, me neither until I read the script for the play, suckas!!!! Probably most of the things I learned won’t be impressive to people at parties, because who wants to hear about how the history of NASA in Florida while they’re doing a keg stand? But maybe I can whip out these facts if I ever meet Michelle Obama one day, and she’ll be like “Wow Sarah! You’re so cool and funny and smart. Want to be on my Snapchat? Let’s get mimosas!”

Speaking of cool ladies, I also have had the privilege of working with a female arts team at Alliance. This includes my supervisor, Celise Kalke, who probably has the most incredible mind in the universe. Remember that Russell Crowe movie, A Beautiful Mind? If copyright wasn’t a thing, I would highly suggest someone use that title and write a book about her. She just has the craziest talent for problem solving. Like, when they were trying to figure out who would write the play for Pancakes, Pancakes adaption, she’s like “Let’s ask Ken Lynch!” Which is insane, since he produces House of Cards and writes super intense political dramas, but it still worked and he said yes and wrote a sick play! Like, Celise is just the Beyonce of this office. She is the epitome of “Who Runs the World? (Girls),” you feel me? She’s Illuminati probably. Plus, I feel like everyone in the office at one point or another during the day is in her office asking for her opinion; it’s just like asking a really reliable magic 8 ball a question. (Off topic, but if the Illuminati was a real thing in Alliance, Celise is Bey, Patrick is Nicki Minaj, and Emily is Rihanna. Trust me, I’ve thought about this a lot.)

Have I made an impact on Alliance since being here? Probably not, other than when I used the adjective “extra” around Celise and she started using it. Millennial slang would make Shakespeare proud.

Overall, I would rate this summer at Alliance as a 10/10. I loved sending my mom pictures of me in my little cubicle twice a day, typically captioned with “Look mom! I got the paid internship! And it’s in the arts! I’m never going to consider medical school!!!!” I loved the enormous amounts of free food, shout out to that gourmet popcorn and chocolate back in June. That’s the real GOAT of this office, in my opinion. I loved the really wonderful people I met, and how they always put up with my questions (shout out to Liz the Pancakes stage manager, who always told me I looked lost on the production level and helped me navigate during the Temple Bombing workshop. Also shoutout to Josh at Starbucks, who hooks me up with that good good every day because God knows I am not a morning person.) I loved contributing to these enormous projects, and I’m so excited to see how amazing this season is going to be. I loved how much I learned about everything!!! I just know so much more stuff about the whole world! Theater, history, writing, printing things, like it’s just so awesome! I don’t necessarily feel smarter by any means, but I definitely feel more capable, I have like, white boy confidence now. I think the most valuable thing I took away from this experience was that I really shouldn’t underestimate myself so much. I didn’t really think I had a shot with this position since I really know nothing about theater (other than the fact that Russell Crowe in Les Mis was a hilarious meme circa my junior year of high school). Anyway, I applied and ended up getting the job and having a wonderful experience! It’s like I’m the not shitty version of Donald Trump, who is the prime example of applying for the job you’re not really qualified for. Ok, hopefully I’m actually nothing at all like Donald Trump because he sucks. I hope I’m more like Celise, who is the queen of having her shit together, or at least the queen of being the best actor in the world, because she is very good at convincing everyone she has her shit together.

Anyways, peace out Alliance, it’s been real, it’s been fun, it’s been real fun. (If I could insert the sunglasses face emoji here, I would.)

This was an unnecessary picture I found while researching things for The Prom and I love it.