JM, I find a valuable wisdom in what you are writing, especially when your good intention can be misunderstood as ‘What’s a catch?’ by some, simply because there’s “disconnect” as you wrote; the person you try to help does not know you and you did not appear sufficiently benign to her/him.
Still, I think a true good intention is somehow felt & accepted as good. The irony is we need to know who & where our usefulness is truly needed as there is a saying ‘Don’t throw your pearl to a pig, because it doesn’t know its worth & can’t be benefited by.’
Even in giving & sacrificing we need to know & to give wisely & properly, it seems. Besides, no one has enough or superfluous time as well as goodwill to waste where those are not needed, and those who are ready to give are usually richer, wiser, & smarter to know what they are doing, and this is a comfort!