The Right Questions

The right questions — not the right answers — lead to meaningful insights that shape who our children become in the world.

In a Rosh Hashanah piece published this week inThe Wall Street Journal, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks writes that God “asks us, what have you done with your life thus far? Have you thought about others or only about yourself? Have you brought healing to a place of human pain or hope where you found despair? You may have been a success, but have you also been a blessing?”

Rabbi Sacks’ commentary on Rosh Hashanah echoes a central tenet of Alice and Nahum Lainer School’s educational philosophy: deep, probing, challenging questions lie at the heart of transformational learning.

Current and prospective parents often ask how I measure success. Most of the time, they are looking for responses that reinforce their view of educational excellence — our competitive ERB scores, our 90 percent matriculation rate into elite high schools, or the stunning professional success of our alumni.

I do celebrate these outcomes, of course — what Head of School wouldn’t? However, the truth is that this is not the sole metric by which I measure success. I measure success by the questions I hear everyday in our classrooms and in our hallways. These questions, from both teachers and students, are to me the clearest reflection of our mission in action.

Here are some of the questions I heard this week that are evidence of our resounding success:

“Why do we celebrate Rosh Hashanah before Yom Kippur? Shouldn’t teshuvah precede renewal?”

- 5th grader

“When were you kind today? How did that kindness change who you are?”

- 3rd grade teacher

“How can God be everywhere if we say there is only one God?”

– Pre-Kindergartener

“How can I make a difference when there is so much suffering in the world?”

- 8th grader

“Can I hold the door for you?”

- 1st grader

Our values reverberate in our questions. When many kids get into the car at the end of the day, their parents or caretakers ask some version of, “What did you do today?” And, of course, the child usually says some version of “nothing.”

As parents and educators, the most powerful way to realize our hopes and dreams for our children is to ask the right questions and help them do the same. If we value derech eretz, when they get in our cars we should ask, “Who did you help today?” or “How did you contribute to taking care of your classroom?”

May it be a year in which each of our children comes to understand that the essential question is not, as Viktor Frankl famously said, “what do [you] want from life, but what does life want from [us].” May we work together to ask the questions that will develop students’ minds, hearts, and souls so that they can — now and in the future — determine and actuate their particular, meaningful contributions to the narrative of the Jewish people and all humanity.

Shanah Tovah.