Where Your Magic Really Hides

“Every night, I lie in bed,
The brightest colours fill my head,
A million dreams are keeping me awake.
I think of what the world could be,
A vision of the one I see,
‘A million dreams’ is all it’s going to take…
…A million dreams for the world we’re going to make.”

– ‘A Million Dreams’ composed by Benj Pasek & Justin Paul

If you didn’t sing along, I am so offended and we most definitely can’t be friends. 😦

But do keep reading!

I love stargazing. Night-time is when I come alive. You know when your surroundings are serene, and humanity has hit hibernate on life’s computer? That’s when everything else comes to life.

Stars, planets, thoughts and dreams.

We are made of stardust and power, so it’s only normal to feel powerful when the stars come out to play. It ignites some sort of magic within us. The magic we were born with… the magic that allows us to dream and create.

But honestly, as I’m getting older, I feel myself losing that magic. As I depart from my childhood — when the world was my playground, and everyone was my playmate — it seems like everything has been pre-determined and there’s nothing significant left to do. So, I find myself following routines, trying to fit into an already-designed canvas strategically painted by a species with no sense of spontaneity.

I admire children; the young souls of this earth that haven’t been reprogrammed yet. They know how to use the magic because they are willing to use it. But then they grow up and get brainwashed by the harsh thunderstorms of our ecosystem, and lose the magic right when they finally have the resources to create utopias.

So I ask myself, where is my inner child?

She who had the guts to dream complicatedly beautiful dreams. She who dared to wake up looking forward to manifestations of those dreams.

Where is she? Where are all of us?

We who played together in the sand but have suddenly decided we don’t want to get our hands dirty anymore. (Something about bacteria and whatnot).

We who were once afraid of monsters in the dark but have became afraid of people… because we realise people are the real monsters when they have immense power.

We who are now engulfed in responsibilities and expectations, and waste away the present consistently thinking of the future that never seems to arrive.

We used to hold hands and run around together but now we compete with each other and trample over one another to make it to the top of nothing. For what?

Have our lives really become mundane — packed with routines and naysayers in a world designed by people who were once like our inner child but have also lost their magic? A world controlled by children who grew up and forgot their dreams?

Where are all the inner children?

We have locked them up in rooms for them to face the wall until they decide to grow up. We have silenced them and siphoned out their magic while injecting them with anti-think-outside-the-boxicants.

I am undoubtedly conscious — aware of my mortality and how random death is, and still, I find myself getting lost in the maze of routines and expectations for my life so much that I forget how to live, and it is truly tormenting.

When I look at the sky at night, I see how small I am and how vast this world is, and I shiver in awe. I’m my happiest when I’m singing loudly, I’m most free when I’m dancing explosively, I’m most fulfilled when I write therapeutically, and I’m most alive when I love fearlessly.

When and why did we become so scared to be authentic? To laugh loudly? To exist confidently? To be pure and full of love? When and why did we allow the coldness of the world to transform us and defeat us? And has it been worth it?

I am working on getting reacquainted with my inner child despite the numerous side-eyed glances and snarky remarks trying to condemn her. I need to relearn to be unabashedly loud about her existence.

My inner child will neither be shunned nor be told to quiet down and sit in a corner to face a wall until she decides to ‘grow up’. I can achieve many goals without having to become someone I’m not — without having to lose my magic.

“I don’t care if they call me crazy. We can live in a world that we design.”

I am happier than I’ve ever been, and this is all I’ve ever wanted from the universe. I am filled with so much gratitude.

Each day we have a choice… to ignore our inner child and try to fit in this robotic lifestyle while we stop dreaming… or to embrace our inner child and paint this world with our magical authenticity while we boldly make our dreams manifest!

Choose now.

It’s time to get your magic back.

Happy star-gazing!

PS: Do yourself a favour and listen to Sia all day.

Xx,
Stace!