So you gave your all to somebody who just took it then threw it away as if it meant nothing.
So you thought it was real and mutual, but found out in the worst way that it was not.
So you feel betrayed and damaged, and you do not understand how a human can treat a fellow human like this.
So your heart is broken, your perception clouded by grey, and your joy polluted.
This is what you need to know…
People are bad for you but will still come into your life, damage you and later say “I’m sorry, I don’t deserve you.”
You were left confused. You were left hanging. You tried to convince them that they deserve you… that they are not monsters… that they are loved. You tried to make them believe that they were everything you wanted them to be, even though they told you who they really were… the exact opposite of that.
And so, you broke down, and you kept asking yourself why. How could they be so selfish? ‘If they knew they weren’t good for me, why did they come into my life in the first place?’ They impregnated your mind with memories, and it’s labour season, except they’re not there with you to hold your hand and tell you they’ve got you.
But even after all this hell, you still hold on to the hope that they will remember they once cared about you. You are hoping that they will be who they used to be again… the whole facade they showed you when they were trying to win you over. You hope the fantasy will come back, but each day that passes just shows you that that person never existed, to begin with.
Tell me, how can something that never existed return?
Tell me, how can you base your entire existence on a concept that isn’t real?
You loved them. They did not love you. They left.
But here’s a question…
You are filled with so much love… why don’t you direct it towards people who would appreciate it and nurture it?
Family? Friends? Animals? YOURSELF?
Stop holding on to what is fervently pushing you away. Stop forcing love down the throats of people who don’t want it… people who have told you that they do not deserve you… people who have misled you, and have left you.
Cry, hit a wall, write a poem, throw some rocks, do whatever you need to do to let it all out. Then get up, start moving and continue with your life! I know it hurts, I know you have no motivation to wake up anymore, I know when you see them, your heart shatters in a thousand places. I know you miss them. I know you still love them, oh gosh, I know you still love them.
BUT YOU DO NOT NEED THEM.
YOU NEED YOU, SO WHERE ARE YOU FOR YOU? Don’t give up on yourself. Be there for yourself as much as you want to be there for them. Love yourself as deeply as you want to love them. Please stop feeling bad for yourself and insecure about yourself because someone was unable to see your worth and potential. Please stop letting this situation define you.
You are worth more than that. They were right. You deserve more than that. You deserve to be full of joy. You are a unique soul and an illuminated heart, don’t quench the fire within you just because you’re afraid of what you would set ablaze. There is nothing wrong with you!
You are a masterpiece, and you are beautiful. Love yourself to the point where anyone who comes into your life to love you any less would be a liability; not an asset. I want you to live by this.
And please, sweetheart, if they tell you they do not deserve you… BELIEVE THEM.
Xx,
Stace
