The Most Hilarious Personal Growth Advice I Follow (Because it Works)
Outside of novel and short story writing, I write most often in the non-fiction realm that mixes the subjects of professional writing and personal growth.
The inner world of the writer fascinates me: the challenges of self-doubt, creative anxiety, and the fear of rejection and criticism that writers must overcome to succeed as a writer.
I struggle with all of these negative aspects of the writing life, and I use the advice of experts in personal growth, spirituality, mindfulness, meditation, and health & wellness as I learn to manage the challenges in my own writing career.
Consequently, I consume many books on these subjects. Recently, I read Gabrielle Bernstein’s Judgment Detox, and I was so impressed with her guidance in that book that I immediately read her earlier book Miracles Now, in which I learned the most helpful personal growth advice I have encountered.
And also the most hilarious.
I’ll let her present it:
WAIT: Why Am I Talking?
Isn’t that awesome?
It’s my favorite kind of self-help tool: simple, yet profoundly effective.
Helpful because I so need this reminder. Hilarious because who do you know who doesn’t need it?
Bernstein explains further in a post on her website how to use this phrase when we catch ourselves repeating our victim stories:
Step 1: Say “WAIT: Why Am I Talking?”
This is a beautiful tool that I put in my book Miracles Now. When you find yourself repeating your victim story or hashing out a situation with a friend for the millionth time, take a beat and ask yourself, “Why Am I Talking?” Give yourself a moment to notice what you’re doing and say, “Okay, I’m in fear. I’m trying to control.” Allow yourself to witness the story so you can shift it.
WAIT: Why Am I Talking?
I now ask myself this question approximately every 3 minutes.
And I am not a big talker. I am an introverted writer. I don’t get out much. But when I do, I find myself talking too much, oversharing, trying to fill silences or perform an act.
When I’m in out in public, attempting to navigate awkward social encounters, I can now ask myself, WAIT: Why Am I Talking?
Even when I’m alone, I can use this tool.
At home working (or trying to work) I am constantly chattering away in my thoughts, going over past conversations, practicing future ones, or just indulging in good old-fashion self-criticism.
When I catch myself mind-churning like this, I can stop by asking myself, WAIT: Why Am I Talking?
This simple phrase breaks me out of my limiting habits of chattering for no reason, out loud or in my head. It can help me stop and come back to the present moment.
Usually, because I’m laughing.
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