Manipulation.
“and if I could make you understand one truth, it would be this. Someone who manipulates your feelings through guilt isn’t loving you. That is an attempt to control you an that has nothing to do with love.”
You made me believe that you supported me, that you loved me, that you always knew what was best for me. You lied about everything. You made me believe that everyone around me was against me. My friends and my family. You got me to throw away pretty much all my friendships except one. So, here I am now to trying to pick up all these pieces that you left me with.
The person that I want to address the most is the women I was friends with for 10 year. Yes, 10 years. I allowed 10 years of friendship to be thrown down the drain. You were like my sister. You told me “don’t do it” “don’t date him, he is no good” I went against what you said because he was there he took my son in his full embrace. All I ever dreamed of was a perfect family. You were my family though and I see that now. You were there holding my leg when my son was born, you were the first to always pick up your phone. I said that letting you go lifted weight off my shoulders but it put more weight on my heart. I love you. I know our friendship may never be the same but I hope for you to forgive me. I hope to have some type of friendship with you. I have already reached out to you but I am doing it again.
Eddie, you’re the only one I didn’t allow to get away from you. Thank you. Thank you for getting along with someone whom I loved even though it was clear you didn’t. Thank you for always being here for me and by my side. Thank you for always having the right words to say even when you don’t know what to say. Thank you for being an amazing uncle to my children. You are such an amazing person, even if we don’t talk every day or hangout often because we are in different places in life I know in my heart and mind that you will be there for me. I love you bitch!!
Dear L*, I wasn’t going to write this because we have spoke already but I believe you deserve to be addressed. First, I want to tell you that you are an amazing mother. You out of all people have forgiven me many times and I thank you for that. I have told you many times you are a true friend and I will never take that statement back. I love you and I love your daughter. Thank you for being here for me in this time of heart break. Also, our children are still getting married.
My family, he tried really hard. I don’t wanna get into much detail on this. Everyone knows how much I love an adore my family, they should know that there is no taking me from them. If I don’t have anybody I have my family. I love all of you. I promise to never choose anyone over you.
You think you know someone after 9 years of friendship, 3 years of dating, and having a child with them. I do want to thank you for 2 things: Our beautiful son, and for showing me what I don’t deserve. I don’t deserve someone who proposes to me out of fear, I don’t deserve someone who makes me choose between them and other people in my life, I don’t deserve to be silenced every time I experience an emotion, and you sure as hell don’t deserve me.
