— They say you’re a soothsayer.
— Of sorts. People come to me to learn of their true fortune. Whether good or bad, I tell them what is it to happen.
— I’d like to know my fortune.
— Very good. Please step forward and gaze deeply into my crystal ball.
(Crystal ball begins to glow brightly)
— It…it’s the number 313.
— Why yes it is. Tsk tsk.
— 313? What does that mean? What does that have to do with anything?
— It’s your credit score.
— Oh, you’re a fortune teller. I get it.
— Indeed. Also, for having inquired, your credit score has further plummeted.
— Seriously?
— Fear not. I foresee that soon you will accept money from start-up companies in exchange for tattooing their domain names on your face. This act will yield profit.
— Oh…that’s not all bad, I guess.
— Well, it’s not good.
