Transition or Die
Amanda Roman

I completely understand what you are going through. The ‘transition or die’ concept is very disturbing, and I’m seeing it all over. There are people who go on low-dose hrt to manage their symptoms without rocketing to Planet Female. You need to stop and ask, ‘what is it that makes me dysphoric?’ For me, after accepting that I am transgender, back in September, and talking with my wife about this, it was my hair. Letting my hair grow out made a huge difference, but it was not enough. I started laser, and it was only after realizing that I was not going to get relief from my dysphoria without cross-sex hormones that I started transitioning.

There is some evidence that this does get worse as you get older. Before I knew what transgender meant, before I figured out why I couldn’t look in the mirror, I was going downhill. I was becoming angrier, more disconnected within myself; I felt like I was trapped in my marriage. Starting hrt relieved my symptoms completely, much to my chagrin (I think I hoped it wouldn’t do anything, and that it would be something else).

I understand that you would rather not transition; there are many, many like you who just don’t want this. Take it one step at a time. Figure yourself out first, and don’t let yourself get so wrapped up in the idea of being female that it drives you even further toward transition.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.