This, above all other essays I’ve read, connected with me and hit me with such emotion I was barely able to contain myself. For years I was trying to understand the following:
- Why I always felt ‘not normal,’ or why there was something ‘wrong with me.’
- Why I felt, as a teen, that I was supposed to have been born a girl.
- Why I struggled with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.
- Why I had a hard time making friends.
- Why I felt I didn’t know who I was.
- Why I felt my primary purpose in life was to sit there and do what I was told.
- Why I felt useless.
- Why I ‘needed’ approval, etc.
- Why my family seemed to have two sets of rules — one for me, and one for the other boys my age.
Now, here was the problem: I didn’t add any of this all together until a year ago. Now I am on hrt and my whole world has changed. Everything. I am not saying I’m ‘cured’ — but a great deal of these things went by the wayside. The journal has not just been a physical one so far — but an emotional one, as well. Even two days ago (four months into my transition), I find I am still learning about myself. Reading this article helped me realize just how much of my issues stemmed from my gender identity issues…
Thanks for this; it changed my life.