I’m a Trans Woman, and I Was Socialized Female

This, above all other essays I’ve read, connected with me and hit me with such emotion I was barely able to contain myself. For years I was trying to understand the following:

  1. Why I always felt ‘not normal,’ or why there was something ‘wrong with me.’
  2. Why I felt, as a teen, that I was supposed to have been born a girl.
  3. Why I struggled with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.
  4. Why I had a hard time making friends.
  5. Why I felt I didn’t know who I was.
  6. Why I felt my primary purpose in life was to sit there and do what I was told.
  7. Why I felt useless.
  8. Why I ‘needed’ approval, etc.
  9. Why my family seemed to have two sets of rules — one for me, and one for the other boys my age.

Now, here was the problem: I didn’t add any of this all together until a year ago. Now I am on hrt and my whole world has changed. Everything. I am not saying I’m ‘cured’ — but a great deal of these things went by the wayside. The journal has not just been a physical one so far — but an emotional one, as well. Even two days ago (four months into my transition), I find I am still learning about myself. Reading this article helped me realize just how much of my issues stemmed from my gender identity issues…

Thanks for this; it changed my life.

  • Sedgy
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