Invest in yourself
The past few years have been especially busy. In some ways the most stress-inducing of my career. But a welcomed break has come and allowed me to get in touch with habits that have me feeling recharged and energetic. As I type I am avoiding rummaging through the last closets we need to organize before the move to the US. I am not sure if you have ever done a move that involves Immigration, Customs and deciding what ships by Air, by Sea or what is packed in luggage on flights. The limited space in luggage must sustain multi-state visits to see friends and family before we get to our next home. It can feel like a death march with looming dates. But thankfully it hasn’t turned into that, and the habits are helping.
First, I need to be honest that nothing helps this move remain bearable more than the team I am surrounded by. My wife has reminded me why a decision to join a team is the so critical. When choosing well, you pick a space that is not dysfunctional. You choose a team that works together and focuses on common goals. To have this you need to expect balanced, honest and open commitment to shared goals. This is the base that everything else is built on, and I to have it in this situation.
But beyond the choice of team, you also have your habits while working, and recovering from stress. The habits below are not new or earth-shatteringly unique. I have practiced some versions of each for years, but they have emerged in refreshed ways as I have given myself the uninterrupted space to enjoy them. This article began as thoughts about slowing down and allowing yourself to focus. I was watching a presentation on Flow, the act of getting into highly efficient groove by removing distractions. This is a state I know well coding, writing and riding my motorcycles; but one that escapes people most of the time. This is unfortunate, given the productivity and happiness that comes from attaining Flow.
As I considered the benefits of focus, I asked myself what is different now that helps me to stay in a positive space. What gives me the ability to slow myself down and focus on the goal at hand, rather than react to things happening around me. Giving myself space to focus allows me to do one thing fully without distraction. It turned out that a small set of subtle habits allow me to start rested, defuse situations that come up and celebrate in a way that helps recovery.
Get quality sleep
I did something few months ago, that has given amazing results. One day I turned off my alarm clock. It was an alarm on my iPhone, but you know what I mean. When I did, I realized two things, I don’t need the alarm clock to wake up, and not having it helps me sleep better. The reason I don’t need the alarm is that I naturally wake up only 15 minutes later than I used to, but I am now fully refreshed and ready for the day when I do. There are days that I wake up a couple of minutes earlier, or a few later, but most days are within a five-minute window, and I a fully rested every single day. It doesn’t usually matter what time I go to bed, I sleep through the night, and I wake up when my body is ready. I feel great by letting my natural rhythms be in control; rather than an external piece of hardware.
In the past I woke up in the middle of the night and looked at the clock to see how long it was before the alarm. I might also check email and look for items for the morning to-do list. If I didn’t check in the middle of the night, I did as soon as the alarm rang. This focus on the clock and impending reactions to events might disrupt my sleep three times a night. Those mornings were met by a sluggish body, and cortisol-enhanced stress. Allowing myself to focus on the sleep, ignoring the clock and the messages until I have fully rested has been the best investment I have made in years.
Share thanks to reduce stress
Being thankful for good things in life was core to what I was taught as a child. My parents, grandparents and priest all drove this message over and over. See the good in the world, in your life, in your work and be thankful. Actively considering the good and being thankful is a strong base to build your life on. Focus on gratitude can foster humility and empathy, helping you have a view wider than yourself.
But under stress, when you lose focus, it is possible to forget. In those moments, you may react and be less than gracious or empathetic. I have been thankful recently, which has given me a smoothness of emotions. I have realized this is well worth protecting. But moments of pressure have come up, and I have used a technique has worked for me to get back to a balanced state. It’s not hard, when I feel pressure, I find a reason to thank the person I am talking to.
I don’t mean that saying thank you will help all by itself. You must honestly be thankful. You can then remind yourself of why you are; then share it. It not only helps you defuse the stress you are feeling, but it helps the other person by changing the situation. It requires you to practice emotional distance to honestly observe what is happening. You need the ability to slow your reaction to ensure the positive sharing comes out before you let loose a negative emotional burst.
Every time you succeed in this, you build muscle memory of exercising this habit. Practice and focus on how much better your days go with less stress. Each time you do gets easier.
Participate in a class
I have been using online learning for years. Our development teams have been supported with Pluralsight or O’Reilly accounts, which I had been using personally even before pushing for organizational adoption. I use the accounts on tablet, laptop and television. Giving me the ability to do learning almost anytime or anywhere. This is a mix of video and reading that allows me to cover nearly any technical subject that sparks interest.
I had been studying for Scrum Certification, moving towards Enterprise Agile Coach. Then I realized Scrum Alliance requires attendance of a classroom session to sit for its exams. I had already studied online and passed practice tests. I emotionally resisted two days in a classroom session, considering it a waste of time. I was wrong.
The class was more enjoyable than I expected. The ability to interact with others, to hear their questions and experiences with Scrum and to meet people in the community was worth the time. It was much faster paced than watching a video that can be interrupted by daily life. It was a time to focus, and to block out distractions. Giving yourself a chance to share an experience, rather than self-isolating with technology, is good for you. This self-investment is one that I will repeat rather than resist.
Chef’s Night Out
The last habit is one that I am looking forward to soon. I am now living vicariously through the videoed bonding sessions of others. Chef’s Night Out is a vice.com show that follows chefs or owners as they gallivant through a series of meals and libations usually at locations run by friends. The night follows a standardized pattern; drinks, dinner, drinks, more dinner, more drinks and finally back to their own restaurant to enjoy a post-service family-dinner with staff, friends and the chefs who hosted their stumbling romp earlier in the night.
Beyond the interesting view into where chefs like to go in cities all over the world, there is the pleasure of watching high-caliber professionals blow-off steam with food, booze and salty language. This is a fun peak into the creativity and comradery of their profession. It is also simply light and enjoyable; a reminder of why celebrating with co-workers is important to an organization.
Taking the time to slow down and relax for an evening with the people you spend time sweating in the kitchen with is a metaphor for the rest of us. Being happy about it the next day and remembering it the next time you have an urge to throw a pan across the kitchen might really help too.
Each of these habits are investments. They come with a commitment of time and effort. But they also have payoffs that help you; and those around you. As professionals we sometimes try to focus only on the work and limit how we react to the feedback loops that tell us to take steps to feel better. Taking a break from the immediate work, and remembering how simple things like sharing time, giving thanks and resting fully can be great investments. This could be interpreted as a message of work/life balance; but its honestly more of a call to be in the moment.
Focus on work while working, so you are fully productive. Then focus on rest and expanding yourself while not working; allow yourself enjoy the rest. You spend more time with yourself than with anyone else, allow yourselves to flow together. Your rested selves will be happier and ready to focus when you return to work.
