Saskatoon: Explaining my Love Affair

This week, I am visiting Saskatoon, a prairie city with around 280,000 people. Saskatoon, also known as the City of Bridges, is in the province of Saskatchewan, smack dab in the middle of the country. Saskatchewan itself is not very big, with just around 1 million people. Driving through the province, one registers the vastness and the flatness of the land, and the varied canvas that is the sky. Land of the Living Skies, is the motto of the province, and it would be very difficult to disagree.

I moved to Saskatoon from the big urban metropolis of Toronto in September of 2012, looking for a change from the busyness of life. I signed up for a one-year contract, expecting that I would come, live through the year and leave. I’ve always been a big city person. I enjoy the variety in culture, activities, and food that big cities offer, and having lived in smaller cities before, I figured that the year in Saskatoon would be a pit-stop in my life. That was not the case however, and it was not long before I was head over heels in love with the city, and one year gently and gradually turned into three. Eventually, after three glorious years, I decided to move back to Toronto to be closer to friends and family. I kept my job and worked from home for many months, happy to have half a foot still hovering in Saskatchewan. This month, work brought me back to Saskatoon. Being back in the city reinforced to me how much I love the city.

Explaining my love of Saskatoon however, has always been more than simple. Most people I know that move here from other cities struggle with the slowness of life, and lack of options. Many people I know soon left, while others struggle, barely tolerating daily life. When asked why I like Saskatoon so much, I often have to stop and think. Of-course, there are great things about the city, such as the friendly prairie people, the river, the nature trails, great food and other things. But that could be true about many places. What is it about this city that made it different and special? I realized upon reflection, that it was not just the city, but rather my relationship with it.

Slowing down to smell the roses.

Coming from Toronto, I was used to a busy commuter life-style. I left the house at 8, got to work by 9:30, and generally got home after 7. Since I lived with my parents, dinner was generally ready, so after a harried meal, I would run off to meet my social and volunteer engagements. Life was good, but busy. When I moved to Saskatoon, I decided not to get a car, and therefore found an apartment a 20 minute walk away from work. Come rain, shine, snow or sleet, I walked to work. And regardless of how bad the weather was, or how late I worked, I was generally home by 5. So much extra time was such a luxury. I had time to cook, go for walks by the river, read a book, have a phone date with a friend, and still be in bed by 11. After years, I had the time and the ability to watch and enjoy television. I could pack a lunch instead of buying a stale sandwich. I could sit in a café after dinner and read.

Making time for things that feed the soul.

Life was not slower in the sense that I was still busy, but now I was busy doing things I enjoyed. Reflection and down-time was built into my schedule as a stand-alone item, rather than something that happened on the train to work. And that opened up so many doors to discovery, both external (in the city) and internal (in my personality). All parts of my personality were growing and expanding leaps and bounds.

BODY: Daily walks, both for business and pleasure, made me fitter. Later on, I bought a bike from a garage sale, and biked everywhere. In the summers, I started swimming, joined some dance teams, and spent many happy summer weekends camping, hiking and canoeing.

MIND: Being in nature inspires it to invoke silence, in appreciation of the beauty it sees. Be it enjoying the natural beauty of the river and the wildlife inhabited by it, or the daily jaw-dropping sunsets and sunrises. Being so close to nature and seeking it out eventually results in the mind becoming quieter.

INTELLECT: A quieter mind is able to focus more, be it on reading, writing, work or otherwise. A quieter, focused mind, when deliberately directed is efficient, effective and at peace. Thus, there is more room for absorption and appreciation of abstract ideas, and dormant abilities come floating to the surface.

Learning to enjoy one’s own company.

When I first moved here, I knew no-one. That didn’t last long, but even then, I lived alone, and unless I made an effort, had to do most things by myself. Cooking, eating, shopping, going for walks, watching movies, biking in the countryside, attending festivals, I generally did alone. First out of necessity, then out of choice. Spending time alone was a joy, a time of solitude and reflection. Saskatoon taught me not only how to be alone, but how to love it. Our only limitations in life, are the boundaries we make for ourselves. There is nothing you cannot do or enjoy in life, even if it is by yourself.

Being in solitude is not the same thing as being lonely. When we feel incomplete, we seek to fill that emptiness, often with things, food and most often with people. When we are lonely, we mistakenly think that being with people, having people to love, will fill that loneliness. That is not often the case. Being in solitude however, we recognize that we are already all that we need to be for ourselves. Therefore we can act without seeking to fill emptiness. We are already full, therefore there is nothing to get, only to give.

Being deliberate with actions and relationships

Then, when we are already full of awareness that we don’t need anything, we can choose what we do in our lives, rather than being swept along by our insecurities. I’m not saying that one does not need friends and relationships in life. However, when there is no desperation for it, we can choose intelligently, what is the right thing for us. Being comfortable with myself, I did not feel the need to fill my days with company that did not inspire me. Therefore, the friends I made were people I chose, not those that I had an obligation to. The people that found their way into my life are those whose values and priorities reflect mine, and in whose company, I strive to be a better version of myself. The things I choose to make time for are things that I grow through, rather than mindless activities that we do just because it is what people do.

No expectations from or attachment to people

When we operate from a place of peace, we act with awareness of what is right and what is wrong. There is no desperation for a particular outcome. We do things because they are the right things to do, and if they don’t yield a over time, we move on to the next right thing to do.

I found that I did not truly care about how people around me perceived me. In many cases, I had confidence in the people around me, and did not fear their judgement. Therefore, I did what I wanted and what I thought was right. I was not motivated by the need to make friends, praise or accolades, nor was I burdened by obligation and a sense of duty. I got involved in local community events and organizations, and in-spite of being very involved, did not care too much of outcomes. I did things I enjoyed, and if I did not enjoy it, I stopped doing it. I have lots of love for the people around me, but no attachment. At the end of the day, I was always happy to come home to myself and the little life I had built.

Not being attached does not mean that one does not care about or love another. To me, it means that one does not need another for happiness. With that in mind, being with someone else without attachment means that you enjoy and appreciate someone for who they are, and not what they can give you. If I am attached to you, I generally have expectations of you, and if those expectations are not met, I get sad, angry and disappointed. However, without attachment, I can appreciate your strengths, support you through your weaknesses and enjoy our time together without expecting you to be a certain way.

Saskatoon: a state of mind

Having grown in these past 3 years, and having reflected on what it is about this city that inspired that growth, made me realize that it is not entirely a particular place that is responsible for it. Rather, it is a state of mind that prioritized growth. The external environment only acted as the catalyst to kick-start and then support the process. But the credit of growth and development does not go primarily to Saskatoon.

Knowing that, any place can be a Saskatoon. Especially with 3 years of practice under my belt, and with continual awareness, I can continue being independent and happy anywhere that I am. Saskatoon however, will always be a little extra special, as the place that allowed me to discover myself.