Kelly’s Life with Steve Tremper and Gaslighting.

No doubt about it Steve Tremper is a Gaslighter. It is the most insidious form of emotional torment you can inflict on another human being. Gaslighting is a form of psychological terrorism. It is abuse for control. A gaslighter does not need to be intelligent, he just needs to be manipulative. He needs to be desperate to control in every situation till you can break your partner so completely that you have them at your mercy. Kelly could no longer think for herself, she was not allowed to make decisions and became fearful of displeasing Tremper. I personally witnessed Kelly at many Barbershop events. Tremper just left her to fend for herself while he went off with his friends. Kelly was always alone. When she tried to talk to people she recognized, namely Let’s Sing! Wives they just turned their back on her. Kim Zinke was the worst. Lisa Chandler stopped attending if Kelly was there. I’m Shamed to be an American sometimes. Gaslighting can be very subtle.
Kelly was so in love with Tremper that she could not see it. But, as I tried to explain to her, she did not fall in love with Tremper, she fell in hope that this time she had met her Prince, but all he ever wanted was her money. As Kelly documented in her journals, Steve Tremper has a need to be liked and admired. He wanted to be adored by women and complained to Kelly that Greg Zinke was more popular. As far as competing at International, Let’s Sing had no hope in hell, but as Kelly wrote, once they were eligible to compete as Seniors, then maybe.
Steve Tremper constantly contradicted Kelly telling her she was wrong when she tried to tell him what was happening to her with barbershop Wives. He made her doubt her own analytical skills. He denied her feelings when she tried to speak up. He always told her she was over reacting or how dare you bad mouth my friends. Steve Tremper actually blamed Kelly for his cheating making himself the victim. Gas lighters will make you feel not good enough or that you are crazy. Tremper referred to Kelly as stony faced and buying her anti wrinkle cream for her birthday with the comment he wanted people to see he had traded up not down was a terrible thing to say. Tremper even tried to steer Kelly away from certain people who knew and could see what he was because they were messing up his game. The way he treated her over a dress for a wedding they were to attend, she wrote she felt humiliated when Tremper said how dare you waste my money. Needless to say Kelly did not attend. Kelly wrote when Tremper asked her to marry him there was no romance to it, she wrote he got up from sitting at the dining room table and said “ let’s get married” She wrote the honeymoon was 3 days in Myrtle Beach and when it was over she sat in a hotel foyer in Florence for 4 hours while Tremper was in one of the rooms at a barbershop meeting. How utterly sad for her. She suffered toothache for 18 months living on pain killers until Tremper gave in and took her to a Dentist. You have to remember he had taken all her money. She wrote she stopped complaining in the end and put up with the pain. Eventually her tooth got fixed and she wrote of such relief from pain. WHO THE HELL WOULD TREAT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING LIKE THAT WHO YOU SAY YOU LOVE.
Kelly was so broken inside and broken that she was such a fool to believe in Steve Tremper.