Renewing your dreams after narcissistic abuse — It takes courage to chase your dreams. Especially after you’ve already lived a nightmare, as I have. (If you have read my Medium work, then you know.) I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse, a single mother, and an advocate for mental health. I am not a perfect person, but…

Your vulnerabilities are the narcissist’s weaponry — Once a narcissist knows what makes you tick, they use that to manipulate and hurt you. Narcissists study their targets and quickly learn what matters to them the most and where their insecurities lie. Then the narcissist uses these exact things as leverage against you. As a person with BPD…

Narcissists minimize, exaggerate, deflect and project — Narcissists are pathological liars, it is a part of their mental makeup. They have no capacity to be completely honest. Narcs tend to swing between minimization of the facts and exaggeration of the facts. There is very little in between. And of course, the reasons they either minimize or exaggerate…

BPD, arrested development, and relationships — BPD (borderline personality disorder) is a part of me that is triggered by real or perceived rejection or abandonment. BPD begins in early childhood due to traumatic life experiences, so severe that the development of self was arrested. It is said to be caused by a “failure of love”. Let’s…

You mistakenly entered a war zone you never want to go to again — If you have ever suffered at the hands of a narcissist, you may very well have a phobia of narcissists now. The damage they are willing and capable of mercilessly dishing out is astounding and terrifying. If you let them in, they can and will attempt to ruin your life…

Separate the self from the BPD diagnosis — All humans are composed of layers of self and the experiences that shaped us. No one thing defines us unless we say it does. And that is true of people with mental health disorders. …

Narcs are always against you — Narcissists are scorekeepers. They love to keep score. That is just the way their minds work. They have convenient memories, and they will hold a grudge forever. This one-sided scorecard they keep tallying is meant to justify all of their bad behavior- forever. There is no statute of limitations when…

There’s nothing like getting under your skin! — The narcissist’s favorite thing to do is whatever upsets you the most. That one thing that really gets under your skin is the thing they will be repeating as a power tactic. Show them what really gets to you and it will happen over and over. It’ll be their go-to…

It is not their strong suit — Fallouts happen in relationships. It is a natural part of life. People do and say things they regret and cause unintended harm. With open hearts, genuine empathy and communication these issues are either worked through or the relationship is released with dignity. But that won’t happen with a narcissist because…