Sweaty. Dirty. Happy. Why Outessa Matters
On the last day of the REI Outessa Summit for Women I found myself embarking on an impulse hike between lightning storms with a ragtag group of women keen for one more activity before heading home. Most afternoon sessions had been cancelled, or even evacuated due to lightning on the mountain, but many of us, including some instructors, were hopeful to squeeze more into an already jam-packed weekend of awesome.
Why?
Where to start…
Sweaty
I planned most of my weekend prioritizing Hiking and Yoga, my loves. I met another women who said, “I am not paying for hiking. I can hike any day for free, I am going to learn to do something new that would cost money at home.” Fair point, Grace. Fair point.
At the last minute on the last day I swapped my entire morning schedule for a Intro to Mountain Biking class after hearing rave reviews.
You will not find a crew more generous with time, expertise or equipment than the REI and Cannondale leaders at Outessa.
The best way to describe the 3.5 hour session was that they treated me like a beginner, but not an idiot. So many times a day I feel like there is so much expectation that I hesitate to ask dumb questions, or more importantly, to ask someone to explain something in a different way. To speak MY language. To be willing to start at ground zero. To do more than show me, but teach me.
Being an expert rarely makes someone a good teacher.
They were not afraid to walk through the detailed mechanics of how to just physically be on a bike. Just; where does my hand go, where do my feet go, what does this lever do, where should I put my weight? The dirty basics you take for granted when you learned how to ride a bike when you were 6, and haven’t been on one in 10 years, and never owned one you couldn’t buy at Target.
They got dirty. They held our bike while we balanced. They pushed us over on the ground to make a point. They let us play, YES, THEY LET US PLAY! On expensive equipment that I have always been afraid to touch. They were generous with answers to questions. And I realized that my entire life I have learning by doing and faking my way through, which is a great way to learn, but it was because I have never been taught by an expert with the patience that I experienced on the mountain.
Thank you. For this and every other session that allowed some woman to be a novice but not embarrassed.
Dirty
At ElliptiGo, I heard a woman say, “I meant to shave my legs this morning, but…”
At a lake I heard a woman say, “Oh, I wish I had my swimsuit…”
On a hike I heard a woman say, “Gah, it is so hot…”
SCREW shaving your legs! Who needs a swimsuit? Take off your shirt!
I was dirty most of the weekend. I have a bruise the size of a grapefruit on my leg, and I couldn’t be happier. Women went skinny dipping. Women stopped shaving their legs. Women hiked in bras in the heat. Altitude farts are real, and no one cares.
Women. Got. Dirty.
Really dirty.
And had the time of their lives doing it.
When women remove the expectation of impressing men, women, each other, they get the opportunity to be free. To remove the burden of expectation. To say, “this isn’t about YOU, it’s about ME.”
We should all be so lucky to play as if we were 3 years old in a sandbox and have no awareness of cost of clothing or shmutz on our faces.
Happy
Just before embarking on that last hike up the mountain, we were asked to introduce ourselves, and share one thing we’d learned.
“How to tie a knot”
“How to shelter in place in lightning”
“I wish I could have done SUP…”
“How to use my hiking poles”
When eyes pointed at me, I took a deep breath and tried to sum up my weekend.
“I go to a lot of conferences and events, and have even coordinated many. The thing I have learned is that when you set the tone of an event to be supportive and encouraging, you can dramatically change the entire experience for everyone. There were times I was struggling, and others would cheer me on, and there were times I saw someone else having trouble, and I would in turn would be their cheerleader. There are so many amazing women here, each going through their own journey, and the world can be so competitive, but this event showed me incredible women leading incredible women who at their core, are just looking for ways to better themselves.”
Is that it? Is that what I meant to say? That’s only some of it.
This weekend included gal pals, and outdoors enthusiasts. There were women on mother/daughter trips or here with their business as a sponsor or vendor.
But more than any other group, most women were here on a journey of healing. Miscarriage, breast cancer, postpartum depression, career change, divorce, break up, there was no shortage of battles being fought. I didn’t know that I would be surrounded by women being brave, whether or not they felt brave. And really, seeking Happy.
I was worried that by going to Outessa alone I’d have trouble making friends or fitting in, but on the contrary I made more friends this weekend than I have in the last 10 years. And we found some Happy.
Fresh air, pushing your body further than normal, waking up with beautifully sore muscles, trying new foods, expansive views and vistas, wine in a can, a latte prepared specially for you, learning new skills, speaking with experts, sharing your story, and being heard…really heard.
What does it take to be happy? Where is your happy?
It’s probably not in a cubicle, or at a meeting. It’s not rush hour traffic or daycare dropoffs. It’s not making dinner or doing laundry.
It’s who you are. It’s inside. When you remove all of the burdens of life, and let your legs prove how much stronger you are than you thought, and you can inhale deeply for the first time in ages. When you share tears with a stranger, and get the biggest hug in return, without judgement. When you are reminded how hungry you are to take that next step. There is a Happy there.
May we all have moments to be Sweaty. Dirty. Happy.
Thank you Outessa for helping us find some.
