When Comfort Sets In

The initial phase of getting to know anyone be it at the workplace, in a new hobby group, involves a few familiar expressions; politeness, smiles and unassuming greetings, positive reactions with almost a hint of grace and perhaps if you’re lucky, a lack of stereotypical undertones.

And then you get familiar, comfortable, chatty. This second phase moves into warmth, a tone of affection even. There is a newfound understanding of the person that includes knowledge of preferences, likes/dislikes, things that make him/her peeved/upset/happy in various circumstances.

But with phase two, then comes the border of receptivity and irritability. Almost as if the progression has given one an almost perceivable power over another simply because of knowledge.

“I know what makes him/her tick.”

“She hates this. Better get this done right or be prepared to stay the weekend.”

“He gets egotistical after he finishes something good and it really boosts his day when you affirm him.”

“She likes this range of pastry, let’s pick some up for her.”

“He gets grumpy when he lacks sleep. I think he had a rough week. Let’s cut some slack.”

Is it any wonder that you can become more willing (or unwilling) to choose your reactions when you reach new levels of relationships with people?

The balance and art of being resilient and human. And that I suspect is what makes the difference in being a mere acquaintance and someone who becomes a real partner and supporter.