I Dont Want To Lose My Spouse.
Famous Steve

Hi Steve. I like the honest soul-searching quality of this piece. I think it is a topic that resonates for many people. Here is my critique. This is a piece about you, your feelings, your relationship. I am wondering if it might be stronger if you kept it in the first person. In other words, these are the things I have come to realize in my relationship. Maybe my insights will help you in your evaluation. So, in all of those bullet points, change you, yours to I, me, mine. It seems to me that part of the value you bring to this essay is speaking as a MAN in a relationship. Try changing the reference to the spouse…instead of “they,” “them” to “her.” Before you begin your list of those things you think are important, give the reader an introduction to what you are about to do….Here is a list of the things I’ve decided are important in order to have a healthy relationship. Also, you say “ I had to value myself by improving myself.” This is how I did it….give us a little more insight into what you had to change about yourself. I love the dancing analogy…good one. It’s a good visual. I look forward to reading more of your work. Ann

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