Here we go again….
Everything okay?” he asked
She looked at him as if to say “you are so pesky”.
He felt sad. He had been feeling unwanted, continuously rejected. She consciously avoided walking with him, laughing at his jokes. The same ones that used to cracked her up once. She had almost stopped looking him in the eye.
He thought her smile was always enough to make his world light up. He thought it was he who made her happy. And now she never smiled at him.
He once told her that 3 things he liked about her was her eyes, her upper lip that lined her beautiful smile perfectly, and her warm hugs. He now missed them all.
Was it all bleak, he wondered?
Why did it all begin to go downhill, he thought. He wanted to feel again. He was going numb to every feeling in the world.
Was he being too clingy? He used to be happy chirpy and carefree.
Did he end up giving his heart where he should not have?
He thought he was all pure at heart, all giving. But isn’t it exactly what everyone thinks of themselves? He wasn’t different. He thought only of himself. He thought that if he focused on one person and make them his world, it would be enough. He thought that it was all one ever needed.
He had started to miss her every day, every hour. Every little thing would remind him of her. He couldn’t wait to see her, tell her how he missed her.
But he never did. It was too complicated already to add some more. He just wanted to be with her all the time. A constant companion in the journey. Someone he wanted to share how they felt about the world, share how the world made them feel.
He was addicted to her.
Give it time he told himself. But in his heart he was sinking, every day, every moment
But then he looked up. One big, bright eyed, broad smile, lighting up the world.
He said to himself….here we go again!