Life’s far too short and much too permanent to make every mistake yourself.
Though almost everyone would say they try to learn from other people’s mistakes, almost no one appreciates just how difficult it is to do so. Even when we make a conscious effort to be even-handed, we often unconsciously privilege our own experiences over the experiences of others.
That’s why I’ve always tried to take pride in learning from other people’s mistakes, to fight against our ingrained preference for firsthand knowledge. No need to endure all the trials and tribulations myself, I thought. I don’t need to smoke…
One of my earliest memories is of my mother’s wrinkly hands. Wrinkled not from age, but from water, soaking in suds, washing the dishes.
After a meal, there was never time to waste. The dishes didn’t sit in the sink. Not unless they needed to soak, of course.
For the longest time, I never understood how she could be so diligent. Even after the longest day, there was never a “maybe tomorrow.” Never an excuse or complaint. Not a word about not wanting to do them. No matter the occasion, the dishes always got done.
Yet, for so many people…
With coronavirus in full swing, a lockdown in full effect, and a little one due any day, people keep asking me how I’m feeling.
This is a good question to be asking yourself right now. Identifying your feelings is a good way to loosen their grip and take away some of their power. When you have no name for what you’re feeling, it’s easy to get overwhelmed, to feel confused and out of control, powerless and distraught.
With everything so up in the air and so much happening all at once, naming what you’re feeling has gotten a little harder…
When I was twenty years old, Bipolar Disorder burned the life I knew to the ground.
When something like that happens, when tragedy strikes, when you experience trauma, the people around you will say all sorts of well-intentioned things that will fall short of the truth, make your eyes roll, and leave you feeling surprisingly angry and alone.
“I’ve been there.”
No you haven’t. Not here. Not this exact spot. You were somewhere else. You are someone else. You don’t really know. You can’t even begin to imagine what I’m going through.
“Don’t blame yourself.”
Who else is there? Who…
There’s a page in The Happiness Equation by Neil Pasricha where he lists seven basic habits that increase happiness:
That page changed my approach to life because I realized being happier wasn’t complicated. I didn’t need to do a million things to be happy. I needed to do a few things consistently. The right things, every day. The basics.
In our quest for better we often assume that the answer is more. More information…
We’re only a few days into the new year and I’d be willing to bet a dollar to a donut that making it better than last is already proving harder than you’d like.
One common source of dashed hopes and crushed dreams is the repetition of past mistakes. We get caught in problematic patterns. Head down paths we know don’t lead to where we want to go, retracing the same steps over and over again.
It’s discouraging, deflating, infuriating. Often it’s the reason we stop trying altogether.
Last year I turned a corner when I read the words of Yung…
Everyone tells you to do what makes you happy. But few people say not to do what makes you suffer.
Maybe it goes without saying. But I don’t think it does.
Often in life we get caught up focusing all our efforts on increasing the upside, trying to win, getting rich, succeeding, and pay almost no attention to doing the opposite: not losing, avoiding financial ruin, evading failure.
In our quest to constantly remain optimistic and think positively, we fail to think nearly enough about decreasing the downside, mitigating the risks. By never allowing ourselves to imagine the worst, we…
It’s hard to write a newsletter every week. The process of writing and editing and editing and editing is often painful. Each word a pulled tooth.
But it’s worth it. Though the choice to show up every week is hard, my writing, clarity of thought and quality of life continue to improve.
Week after week, I’m becoming more productive and self-disciplined. I’m making progress, honing my craft, having more meaningful conversations with the people who surround me, and better connecting with my small corner of the world.
Slowly but surely, I’m building a community of people who care.
You need to optimize your rates, because rates run your life.
Think about how much of your life is determined by the rate at which you make money and the rate at which you spend it. Think about how much your health depends on the rates at which you sleep, eat and exercise.
Rates matter because resources are limited. We only have so much time, energy, money, thought, motivation and know-how to put into things, so we need to make sure we’re optimizing our returns, achieving the best rates, getting the most out of life.
Investors care about return on…
I write about living a better life and making a better world.