Love is unexplainable and unimaginable. Is makes your words seem too simple and your thoughts overly stupid. But not all loves are love.
This thing called love is not a feeling. It’s illogical. It makes you ill. Undefined. You cannot choose your love. Love cannot be forced. Most importantly and undeniably you will never overcome the loss of a lover. Unfortunately this ability to deeply tap into vulnerability and emotions to find love is not available to all.
“’Tis better to have loved and lossed than to never have loved at all”
The rest rely on logical love. The cycle starts with an idea of love, then loss and overcoming every second of life thrown away for that person. In fact it’s not a form of love at all. It is a need to fill a hole. Like being found when lost. But once that hole is filled, the fight to make a meaningful claim on that relationship is lost. In fact there really was no existing foundation of a deeper meaning than dependency and personal shortcomings.
Logical love is a depedency upon a person with an expectation of obligation. Dependency is learned from childhood and so there is always a need for someone’s care and company. It is present your entire life whether it be on a job, a person or a city. And somehow we have expectations of that job, person or city to feel obligated to some extent to take care of our needs.
People choose lovers by focusing on the characteristics they wish they possessed in combination of traits already inherited. Opposites attract because of curiousity. The characteristics lacked are the ones hoped to gain. An introvert may envy the social extrovert. A busy mind will want surroundings of peace, or a peaceful person. Opposites are compliments. It’s a natural way to adopt these characteristics and become a whole person selfishly. And once a sponge cannot soak anymore water it’s thrown away. It becomes a burden instead of a compliment. What was once fresh and appealing now seems overused and learned.
When a partner is gone that incomplete lost feeling is overwhelming. Lost childlike. When loosing the teacher that fed hungry missing personality traits the mind becomes confused and needs to refocus like a camera lens. The tree leaned on has moved. Life seems off balance standing on one left foot with a strong wind. Independence needs to be the right foot controlled by the logical brain to rebalance life. This will be an avenue toward choosing a good partner and down the road that same line of independent thinking will lead to an easy recovery when that person is no longer there.
There are two types of people who fall into this relationship. The one who feels the inner pulse that there is more to love than the idea of love. The other who can’t read nature’s inner pulse yet and so becomes the pawn. The first is the one who will run away to find what is more. What is more is fulfillment. The choice of having a person next to you while you are peaceful and whole alone. A breath of fresh air. Jazz at night. Wearing lipstick at home. Warm bread. Autumn rain. It’s unexplainable. It’s being lost and not wanting to be found. Love is naturally sought after. It is powerful and stupid.