3 Ways To Be Quietly Confident
Being The Loudest One In The Room Isn’t Always A Good Thing
Quiet and confident don’t seem like they go together, but they do.
You may think that confident people are the loudest ones in the room. There is an assumption that you have to be an extrovert and talk a lot in order to be deemed a confident person.
A quiet person can still be seen and heard by others.
Confidence isn’t only about being the center of attention. Yes, some people thrive in this place. However, I believe that true confidence is a lot quieter. It is a state of being that you create within yourself. It’s about trusting who you are and what you can stand for.
Dharmesh Shah, the co-founder of HubSpot, said it best — “Confidence is not bravado, or swagger, or an overt pretense of bravery. Confidence is quiet. Confidence is a natural expression of ability, expertise, and self-regard.”
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Research shows that quieting the ego is so much more effective in cultivating well-being, growth, health, productivity, and a healthy, productive self-esteem, than focusing so loudly on self-enhancement.
Quiet is the new loud.” ~Patrick Stump
I am living proof that a shy and introverted person, by nature, can still exude confidence. I was always told by people that I needed to be louder, but that never resonated with me.
When I was younger I struggled with confidence. When it came to meeting women, I literally froze up and ran the other way.
I was the guy that never got the girl.
I was sensitive, soft, and caring, but that still didn’t cut it. It was confusing. Isn’t that what women want??
However, after diving into the world of self-development, I eventually realized that I was missing the secret to sexual attraction — confidence.
Women are attracted to confident men, but not confidence that is boastful or sleazy. Rather, confidence that is quiet and humble. A man that isn’t obsessed with himself because he has worked through his insecurities. A man whose mere presence takes over a room just by being himself.
To this day, I’m still introverted, but I’ve built up my confidence, in a way that allows me to be myself, unapologetically and proudly. In doing so, I have engendered trust from others.
“Always be yourself and have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and try to duplicate it.” — Bruce Lee
Quiet confidence is all about being quietly curious and open to life’s possibilities. Here are 3 ways that you can develop quiet confidence.
1. Actively Listen
Someone who possesses quiet confidence doesn’t talk over people. Rather, they actively listen, without judgment. Their intention isn’t to give their opinion or advice unless it is asked for because they possess an innate curiousness about the other person’s life.
Oftentimes, we fight the urge to fill our moments with words. Enjoy the silence that comes from pausing and taking a breath. Beautiful things can emerge in a dialogue between two people when this happens.
Talking with quiet confidence will always beat screaming with obvious insecurity
The research on the quiet ego shows that “The volume of the ego is turned down so that it might listen to others as well as the self in an effort to approach life more humanely and compassionately.”
When people feel comfortable in your presence, they feel safe to be their authentic selves.
2. Commitment To Personal Growth
People who exude quiet confidence don’t boast that they know everything. Rather, they adopt an attitude of curiosity towards life.
A proverb once said, “A wise man never knows all. Fools know everything.”
Researchers have found that those with a quiet ego report being more interested in personal growth and balance and tend to seek growth through competence, autonomy, and positive social relationships.
These types of people are committed to doing the work and challenging themselves to meet their own standards of success. That being said, they are still open to constructive feedback from others and never shy away from insights that could level up their lives.
3. Praise Others
Arrogance involves praising and bragging about one’s character or accomplishments. People who display quiet confidence don’t try to fight for the limelight.
Rather, they want to inspire other people to be confident and become the best version of themselves. They don’t need the validation of others, because they are so comfortable in their own skin.
Competition isn’t a part of this person’s vocabulary.
“Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing it a bit because of someone’s version of reality is not your reality.”
Having quiet confidence means that your mere presence speaks so loudly that anyone can hear it. Don’t waste your time trying to be someone that you are not. Believe in yourself and trust that, you alone, are enough.
Thank you for reading!
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