Letting Go Of Control
How To Learn The Art Of Surrender
We’ve all heard someone say, “just let go.” If you find yourself doing a massive eye roll every time you hear this, you aren’t alone.
Why? Because of all the obstacles that people face, letting go of control and trusting the process of life can be a difficult one for people to accept.
Think back to a time when you weren’t in control. How did it feel?
Our heart and soul may know that letting go of control is best for us, but our ego craves it because we want to win the fight! However, there comes a time when enough is enough.
Albert Einstein got it right — “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
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Here lies the problem… the more we try to control things, the less control we actually have. We believe that taking control will bring us security and happiness, yet its overuse causes unhappiness, anxiety, and sadness.
As humans, we are always trying to control our environments, but we forget that the only person that we have control over is ourselves.
Sometimes this sends people into an obsessive spiral. They do everything in their power to hang on for dear life to something that will make them feel that they’ve got it under control, when really they are losing themselves in the process.
You always have a choice how you will react to something. It all comes down to your mindset.
“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli
If you want to achieve freedom, you need to let go of the outcome and surrender to what will be. Surrendering is a choice. You need to ask yourself, “Are you ready to peel back the layers of control?”
When we surrender, we stop resisting life.
Controlling everything is exhausting because it’s a losing battle. You keep pushing to achieve the outcome that you desire, but the world keeps pushing back. This cat and mouse game ends up killing our energy and leaves us feeling like we are constantly trying to stay afloat.
This is no way to live.
In the words of Fiona MacNeil, “Once you know that there are some things that you can’t control, you can let go of your obligation to manage the Universe.”
Let’s explore 3 tips for letting go of control and finding freedom.
1. Focus on what you can control
We can influence situations and people, but we have zero control over what the final outcome will be. Our emotional response is the only thing at our disposal.
When we focus too much on what we can’t control, it takes precious time and energy away from what we can control.
Focusing on what you can control takes preparation, effort, and discipline. It requires that you adopt the mindset of, “I am going to be the very best that I can be with what I have.”
You can’t control if your business will succeed or fail, but you can control how much time you devote to building it.
You can’t control if your partner will stay or leave, but you can control how much love you show to them and yourself.
You can’t control if your boss will treat you with respect, but you can control how you show up in your job and the quality of work that you produce every single day.
When you change the way that you look at things, the things that you look at change.
Someone once said, “One of the happiest moments in your life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.”
He or she couldn’t have been more spot on.
2. Be Mindful
Sometimes it feels like life is one big mindfulness practice of letting go, which can feel extremely frustrating. However, this moment is all we have, so why not be fully there, instead of letting our minds run somewhere else?
The practice of any mindfulness-based activity is all about shifting your thoughts away from the past and the future so that you can focus solely on the present moment.
When we stop resisting what we cannot control and surrender to the process of what is, we allow ourselves to flow more easily with life.
Neuroscience research shows mindfulness meditation causes distinct changes in brain structure and brain function and seems to improve people’s focus and emotional control.
I encourage you to take a few minutes every day to engage in a mindfulness practice that allows you to connect with yourself and one that calms your busy mind.
“To the mind that is still, the whole Universe surrenders” - Lao Tzu
Oftentimes, people tend to control things because they are so afraid of what may happen in the future, or are too scared of making the same mistake again. Don’t let fear have this much control over you.
3. Envision What Would Happen If You Let Go Of Control
Before you start spiraling into a control bubble, step back and think about what life would be like IF you let go of the need to be in control all of the time.
What would that look like? Feel into it and activate all of your senses.
People tend to forget that fear is merely false evidence appearing real. Since the desire for control usually stems from fear, I encourage you to start questioning your beliefs. When you do, you may find that many of them appear false.
Don’t allow your fears to dictate how you move throughout your days. You control the meaning of your life.
Tony Robbins once said, “Do you want to change your life? Control the only thing you can control: The meaning you give something”.
What can you let go of today that will allow you to find freedom?
Thank you for reading!
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