Too Busy: The Mindset That Is Taking Us Off Course In Life
When I ask people how they are doing, instead of, “I’m great!”, the response I usually get is, “I’m so busy.” It’s something that we all share in common, right? Well, not necessarily. It depends on your definition of what busy is.
Society has conditioned us to believe that busy equates to success. I like to call this the “too busy mindset.” It has become a normal part of our daily lives.
The line of thinking is… if you aren’t busy, then you MUST be lazy.
This is why busyness has become the gold standard, especially when it comes to work. People run themselves into the ground, to the point of burnout. They constantly look at the clock and feel the pressure of time.
Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.
It feels impossible to “do it all”, doesn’t it?
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If you think you are too busy to do the things that matter most then I encourage you to reframe what that means. Perhaps it’s your way of saying that it’s just not a priority for you.
I’m not saying that life isn’t busy. However, sometimes we create stories in our minds. If we appear too busy, then we don’t have to focus on the most important things in our lives that we don’t want to face.
The economist Sendhil Mullainathan and the behavioral scientist Eldar Shafir describe this as a problem of “cognitive bandwidth” — we end up making poor time-management choices. The feeling of busyness leaves us feeling busier and busier, even though it may not actually be our reality.
“The victim mindset dilutes the human potential. By not accepting personal responsibility for our circumstances, we greatly reduce our ability to change them.”– Steve Maraboli
Changing our mindset is key to changing our perception of busyness.
Would you believe me if I told that you could actually get more done if you slowed down? Don’t panic.
Here are 3 ways that the words, “I’m too busy” actually takes us off course in life.
1. Makes Us Feel Like A Victim
When we feel too busy to do anything, it can create a “poor me” attitude, which is a great sympathy card when you are feeling low.
Having a ‘victim mentality’ occurs when you don’t take responsibility for your life. Instead, you blame your challenges on external circumstances or other people.
This creates a mindset of, “The world is happening to me, not for me.” If everyone is busy and complaining about it, then it must be okay for me to do it as well, right? Drop that story. This only spirals people into a deeper victim state.
2. Makes Us Feel Less Productive
The assumption is that if we aren’t crazy busy, then we aren’t working hard enough. The fact of the matter is that busyness actually makes you less productive.
But wait, how is this possible? David Meyer from the University of Michigan published a study recently that showed that switching what you’re doing mid-task increases the time it takes you to finish both tasks by 25%.
Our brains aren’t physically capable of focusing on a million different things at one time. If you want to be at your best and master your time, then you need to slow down and prioritize what matters most to your success. Everything else is white noise.
In the words of Stephen Covey, “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule. Rather, but to schedule your priorities.”
3. Makes Us Feel Out Of Control
We are brought up to believe that if we stay busy enough, we will be able to ignore all the negative stuff that makes us feel small. In her book, Daring Greatly, Brene Brown says that “One of the most universal numbing strategies is what I call crazy-busy.”
If we move at a rapid pace, we think that it will bring control to our lives, but it actually does the opposite. The “I’m too busy” syndrome becomes a crutch, an excuse to not face our most painful truths in life:
- Of how afraid we are to step outside of our comfort zone.
- Of how unhappy we are in our relationship.
- Of how unworthy we feel.
“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” –Socrates
When we learn how to make friends with stillness and inaction, we find we are able to tap into what is really important to us, or the parts of ourselves that we need to work on. Stop glorifying busyness.
More is not more.
I don’t believe that busy is the key to success. Rather, it’s about being super productive. Your mile-long to-do list isn’t serving you.
Wake up every day and write down three of the most important tasks that you need to accomplish that will bring you closer to your goals in life.
Barbara Hemphill, founder of the Productive Environment Institute and an expert on time management says that “Jumping from task to task without clear direction or goals is just “busy work” and is likely not going to result in a productive day.”
Are you addicted to being busy? If so, sit back and ask yourself what you are busy about and see what comes up. Your answer may surprise you.
Thank you for reading!
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