Things to Know Before Committing Suicide
A helpful set of insights and perspectives you don’t want to miss if you’re seriously contemplating suicide.
If you are contemplating suicide, never hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, day or night, at 1–800–273–8255.
This post is not meant to cover all situations or personal experiences. It is meant mainly for people in the first world who still have their cognitive faculties. I will add to this work as time goes on.
The Silent Killer
One of the only ways you will be able to commit suicide is to deliberately stay quiet about suicidal thoughts.
There is tremendous available support and you are not alone.
To not share with others because you are afraid of the perceived consequences such as changes in your interpersonal dynamics, usually with family, is the EGO’S way of protecting its suicidal identity so that perhaps one day the conditions will be favorable enough for YOU to LET YOU slip into tragedy.
Examples of undesirable consequences include backlash from family, getting labeled, having to go to therapy, admitting to a situation that causes a massive change in life like admitting to a crime and then going to jail, or just the potential embarrassment of admitting your problems to someone other than yourself.
Reasons for staying quiet exist under two umbrellas:
I can’t be helped.
- There’s something fundamentally wrong with me that makes me incapable of receiving help
- There isn’t qualified guidance available that can help me in my specific situation
- “I’ve tried everything” and nothing has worked nor will it work.
I don’t want to be helped.
- I don’t deserve to live based on something I’ve done or believed I’ve done (Guilt/Shame)
- I’ve decided my personal future will only be suffering.
- I presently see no current or future reason for living.
- If I tell others I fear the risk of having people convince me to suffer longer through life for their sake, not mine.
- “This world is burdened by my existence”
- There are consequences for being honest that I’m too scared to face
- My suffering is too intense to continue living even if I could be helped later, I have to quit now.
If you have the belief in the idea that no one can help you or understand you, you are playing into an ego trap. You are effectively telling all of life as well as your subconscious mind that your problems are permanent.
Tony Robbins teaches an excellent understanding about our problems. He explains we think our problems are the three Ps. [1]
1. Permanent. Things will never get better.
2. Personal. The problem indicates there’s something wrong with me.
3. Pervasive. The problem in one area has damned the whole system
In essence you’ve decided that speaking up about this would be more sufferable and lead to even more stress or pain. Truth is, you’re being tricked by your ego.
While we may fear the risk of the discomfort and consequences of admitting suicidal thoughts to others, risking being pitied or sent to see some stupid authority figure who are going to lie to us to get us to come off the ledge, when the best thing would be to jump…
but the real risk we are running from… is the risk that we make it out of suicidal depression and feel better. The scary part is having to nullify the identity and all the beliefs that we have built around that identity based on the meaning we’ve given the experiences of our lives.
If our life is pitiful now, imagine how shameful it’ll be to admit we were wrong about it. If we’re holding a grudge and think it best to die for revenge or protest, we’ve already made up our mind that we will never forgive our parents or society for what they’ve done to us or others. Nothing is ever going to change because what’s done is done and change will only happen over our dead body… Of course, the change we’re most afraid of, is to change our mind and have to “sacrifice” “who we are” in the process.
But there is no going backwards from death.
To choose premature death is to exercise our power of free will to do something which is so contrary to our real Being…and there won’t be a way to undo it. Of course, even if we do go forward with such a decision, all will be okay, because we cannot disrupt the flow of existence even by hard resetting our own life. Life will reorganize itself as its designed to and our soul will make its way through the transition of lifetimes.
So, whatever you do, don’t stay silent.
What happens if you actually do commit suicide?
Suicide is not the end of someone’s journey here…
All death is simply a continuation. It’s only an end if you assume you are just a physical being, but please be cautious about betting on a smaller perspective than one that allows for reincarnation. Truth doesn’t care what you bet on.
Now, take the following with a grain of salt based on your belief system, but from my discussions with plant medicine facilitators and by people with direct experiences of “seeing” (being shown) into the moment that a loved one did commit suicide, you can construct an understanding of what may happen.
The person that ends their life will “stand” over their dead body as they are caught between planes of consciousness and realize they’re not dead nor can they take back what they’ve done. Instead, they will have to witness the damage they did to the people that love them and face the gravity of their actions from another plane, like the astral plane.
Bill Phillips, a psychic medium who has channeled the spirits of people who have committed suicide says they often express regret for the harm they caused others. They are able to review, from a spiritual perspective, rather than an ego one, the choices that led to their life unfolding in such a way. They are met with spiritual guides that do not condemn them, but assist them in the transition.
This idea of a life review has been reported by many near death experience (NDE) survivors, like Dannion Brinkley (his interview with Michael Beckwith here). At some point in the transition you remember you’re a soul and your life was pre-ordained and picked by YOU to LIVE, even before you were born into it. The purpose was not to get caught in the story of limited perspectives that leads one to commit suicide, but to transcend the limitations entirely and surrender to the flow of life which is, in its energetic essence and truth, an infinite stream of support and love.
If you don’t believe the idea of your soul picking your life before you’re born, that’s okay, I’m not here to change your mind and force your thinking…but don’t say you weren’t aware of the idea. You absolutely run the risk of it being true no matter if you deny it. The universe doesn’t care what you believe.
Short sighted thinking could have seriously upsetting results…think you’re upset now?… Wait till you see that it’s not over and you can’t die…
…and back into another life you go to forget all that you’ve remembered and carry the corresponding karma into the next ego package that sets up an equally challenging life you will be challenged to wake up in and attempt to transcend.
No thank you.
I invite you to play your current hand and avoid the risk having it worse or at the very least repeating what you’ve already gone through. Why risk going through another challenging childhood? Nothing guarantees life will be any better the next time around and believe you me, there will be another round — guaranteed. You don’t get out of life by dying. I’ve heard those words out loud from my own waking soul.
What you are seeking is to transcend life — not escape it.
To surrender to it and let life’s medicine purify your mind to let your soul regain its throne in your mind and heart.
This is the soul’s journey.
As a human, we are not meant to interfere with that which we do not understand fully, which is life itself. We are meant to surrender to whatever is happening; it contains the feedback necessary to move us forward on that soul’s journey.
Practical Thoughts on Suicide
Your problems are not unique to you.
In the essence of your problems lies a theme or a common thread that exists in the problems others also experience.
You are not alone in your struggles.
You are not the first person to experience immense suffering and pain. & you won’t be the first to overcome it.
You are also not alone in life.
At some level, you are connected to people around you, even if you’re an orphan. Your actions affect other people and the world around you. Albeit tough to say or swallow, suicide is always a selfish decision.
Do not use suicide as a way to find out if people care about you.
You can find that out without killing yourself. If the people that know you “don’t care”, there are so many people that don’t know you but would support you in a heartbeat. The issue most people face is that it’s not about anyone caring…it’s about specific people caring, like parents, a friend, partner, or even someone you don’t know, like a celebrity or public figure whose attention you value greatly.
The only reason you don’t have support is because you are blocking it.
Release the expectation of it having to come from your immediate family or friends. There are professionals dedicated to supporting people going through hard times. There are spiritual groups who would open their arms and homes to support you. There are support groupsNever hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, day or night, at 1–800–273–8255.
NEVER create ultimatums to base your decisions off of.
i.e. I won’t kill myself If I go up to someone on the street and ask them if I should. i.e. If they say no, I won’t. Otherwise…
Okay, think this through…What if the people you ask don’t speak english, are in a rush, are suicidal themselves, are scared of Covid, are paranoid of strangers, got pickpocketed in europe last month, think you’re asking for money and don’t listen, and blow you off. Terrible experiment.
Whatever you do, don’t create ultimatums that are dependent on someone else’s actions. Especially if they don’t know what you’re really doing is testing them for your decision to live or die…that would be essential information for context. Don’t go looking for external validation to confirm your belief that your life isn’t worth it. A missed phone call does not confirm the idea that you should kill yourself.
Medications can prompt suidical thoughts.
If you’re on any type of medication, consult your physician immediately. It’s possible the medication is influencing your thoughts. These may not be your own. They almost never are, with or without medication.
Release your parents from the equation of your inner peace.
Your happiness cannot depend on acceptance or validation from your parents. If you hate them, killing yourself as a way to hurt them is an ineffective strategy for getting back at them. Always remember, success in life is the best revenge.
Atheism and Nihilism are the fathers of most suicides
You will always feel like life lacks purpose if you don’t have spiritual practices that bring you in connection with God/Source and a view of meaning. You don’t have to become a religious nut, but you do have to start somewhere and build. This is unquestionably the most important aspect of any journey that actually climbs out of suicidal depression. Nihilism and Atheism is a TRAP of the ego. It’s the ego getting you to believe that you have the ability to determine absolute meaning and correct conclusions in the universe based on your ability to reason and process your observable life experience and information. Catch this trick. The universe, life, and the idea of God, is so much more expansive in capacity than can usually be comprehended by a human incarnation.
Drugs can cause people to commit suicide who don’t really want to.
Taking drugs of any kind are fragmenting your consciousness. It will always be challenging to know who you are and what voice to listen to if you are constantly altering your state of mind with drugs and alcohol. There are many ways to reduce substance dependance, but it all starts with your willingness to know yourself without them.
Alcohol is as dangerous as it gets
If you’re suicidal, stay away from alcohol at all costs. “While all substances elevate the risk for suicidal behavior, alcohol and opioids are the most common substances identified in suicide decedents (22% and 20%, respectively), far above rates of marijuana (10.2%), cocaine (4.6%), and amphetamines (3.4%)”[2].
If you’re drinking alcohol, you’re avoiding the pain you’re experiencing by numbing yourself.. you’re also compromising your mental faculties. It will never be a solution. It only tackles the symptoms. Get help.
Find something to Love.
Lastly, you don’t have to adopt self love, but you do have to love something. It could be animals, trees, ceramics, whatever…but you have to identify something other than yourself to have an outlet for love. It exists. You have to find whatever it is that is bigger than you that you can love.
Additional Resources
(still working on this)
I highly suggest reading Tim Ferriss’ post on Suicide.
If you suspect someone is contemplating suicide, subtly remind them that you would be devastated if something ever happened to them. Drop hints of appreciation and value recognition without necessarily justifying it other than it’s a natural feeling. Add things as appropriate, but never tie worth to actions since worth is an innate value that derives from being part of the whole of the divinity.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, never hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, day or night, at 1–800–273–8255.
(1) Tony Robbins 15 minute recording where he covers his insights based on all the work he’s done and how people can understand their motivations better. Listen to that here.
(2) 14. • Esang M, & Ahmed S. A closer look at substance use and suicide. Am J Psychiatry Residents’ J. (2018). A brief review of risk for suicidal behavior in alcohol and substance using populations and summary of clinical interventions and risk management recommendations for suicidal individuals with concurrent SUD/AUD.
