I made a decision to start writing everyday. I did not decide how long I would do that for, but now I am concerned it won’t last too much longer.

Each morning this week when I sat down to the computer somehow I magically had a topic come to mind. That did not happen this morning.

Although I did not set out to publish what I wrote every morning, I did. I guess because I was rather proud that I had a topic and point of view and I was happy enough with what I wrote that I thought I should publish it on LinkedIn.

Hey, guess what just happened? My topic for this post just materialized in that last paragraph. I knew it as soon as I was typing it, and I changed my title from “This Is Getting Harder And It’s Only Day 5” to what it is now.

So a big hint to those of you that have thought to yourselves that the only reason that you don’t write everyday or every week is that you have nothing to write about: Just start writing! Literally just type whatever is coming to your mind almost in a stream of consciousness way and you will be amazed, a topic that you can sink your teeth into will appear. You just saw it happen!

To publish or not to publish. First of all, I am not talking about whether or not to publish a book. I am talking about publishing your daily or weekly essay or keeping it for yourself.

For me, when I write I feel like there is a reader on the other end of my screen. I don’t feel like I am writing for myself. I am not writing a diary or journal entry. I seem to write about things that I have a point of view about, but feel that there would be interest from others and hopefully some value for them too. I also feel like it motivates me a little. Knowing that I am producing something for people to read and ultimately judge me in some small way forces me to think a little more about the words I use, the sentences I put together and the purpose of the essay.

I’ll admit it. I am addicted to validation. I get a little dopamine hit and get a little excited when I see the red dot indicating that I have a notification on LinkedIn, Medium, Twitter, etc. I feed off of someone’s positive comment about what I’ve written. I know that is not the healthiest of perspectives, but it’s true. I may be writing for myself, but somehow not getting the pay-off of some validation from a reader reduces the value (maybe that is the wrong word) for me. I think if I were not publishing what I wrote and not getting some validation I would abandon it sooner than not. Of course I don’t really know. I haven’t tried. I’ve published everything I’ve written this week.

The upside of publishing your essays is exposure. Unless you work with your hands for a living (and I have incredible respect for those who do, as I can’t put together an Ikea book shelf) you basically rent out your brain for a living. So if you are a freelancer or consultant like myself, essays and social media posts provide some insights into my brain and my personality. Good and bad. It acts like a tiny sample of my work. Again, that could be good or bad depending on what they think of what I’ve written.

The downside of publishing your essays is exposure. If they are not received as well as you judged your own work, that may not play in your favor.

For me I think the driving force is that writing knowing that it will be read is what forces me to care. Care about what I’m writing. Because it is not for me. Or at least it is as much for someone else as it is for me. That motivates me to write with purpose and focus.

You may not need that motivation. You may not need to pathetically seek out as much validation as I do. You may only want to write for yourself. And I fully encourage you to do it.

I’ve tried meditating for years. I tried apps like Headspace, etc. and still could never be consistent. Never stuck with it. I will tell you that I did feel as if I could feel some small benefit to having meditated firs thing in the morning. A little more refreshed, a little more clear in the brain. What is interesting to me is that I get the same feeling after spending an hour writing in the morning. That is counter-intuitive as writing and thinking about writing is about as opposite to mediation as running is to sitting still. But nonetheless I feel pretty good after I write.

So whether you publish your post because you are proud, or need validation, or feel strongly that it can help others, or if you write only for yourself knowing that you are the only audience, I say write! Find the time, make it yours and enjoy the process. Don’t overthink it. Sit down and start typing your thoughts. You will be surprised how a topic will appear.

Now please tell me how much you like this essay. I need to see those red notifications. I need a fix.