Stella Rubini
3 min readJun 8, 2023

If “I" is your favourite word…

Have you ever met someone who seems to talk about themselves all the time? Someone who can't seem to stop talking about their own experiences, accomplishments, and opinions? If so, you may have encountered someone who has a tendency towards "I-talk." In this article, we will explore the psychology behind this phenomenon, as well as the potential implications of excessive self-focus.

What is I-Talk?

I-talk refers to a communication style that is characterized by a high frequency of first-person pronouns (e.g., "I," "me," "my"). People who engage in I-talk tend to focus on themselves and their own experiences, often at the expense of others. This can manifest in many different ways, such as constantly interrupting others, dominating conversations, and disregarding others' perspectives.

Why Do People Engage in I-Talk?

There are many different reasons why people may engage in I-talk. For some, it may be a way of asserting their dominance or establishing their authority in social situations. For others, it may be a manifestation of narcissism or a desire for attention and validation. Still, others may engage in I-talk as a way of coping with anxiety or insecurity, by focusing on themselves and their own experiences rather than engaging with others.

The Implications of I-Talk

While I-talk may seem harmless, it can have a number of negative implications for both the speaker and their audience. For one, excessive self-focus can lead to a lack of empathy and understanding towards others, making it difficult to form and maintain healthy relationships. Additionally, I-talk can be perceived as arrogant or self-absorbed, leading to social isolation and rejection. From a mental health perspective, excessive self-focus can also contribute to anxiety and depression, as individuals become stuck in a cycle of self-doubt and self-criticism.

How to Address I-Talk

If you find yourself engaging in I-talk, there are several strategies you can use to shift your communication style. One approach is to focus on active listening, by paying attention to others' perspectives and asking open-ended questions. This can help you to develop a greater sense of empathy and understanding towards others, and to form stronger relationships based on mutual respect and collaboration.

Another strategy is to practice mindfulness, by becoming more aware of your own thought patterns and emotional responses. This can help you to identify when you are engaging in I-talk, and to develop alternative ways of communicating that are more inclusive and supportive of others. Finally, seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can be an effective way of addressing underlying psychological issues that may be contributing to excessive self-focus.

Conclusion

While I-talk may seem like a harmless communication style, it can have a number of negative implications for both the speaker and their audience. By becoming more aware of our own communication patterns and working to develop alternative strategies, we can cultivate more empathetic and supportive relationships with others. Additionally, seeking professional help can be an effective way of addressing underlying psychological issues that may be contributing to excessive self-focus. Ultimately, by shifting our focus from "I" to "we," we can create a more connected and compassionate world.

Stella Rubini

"I'll become an impressive woman and go back soon." - Lover of reading and writing.