Sexual Fantasies For Introverts

The book I’ve wanted to write for my entire adult life is taking shape. It’s not a book society wants me to write. It’s a book I have the mental material and passion to write.

Here’s a part of it:

I taught English in Japan in 1998. I hated it. I hated it for reasons you wouldn’t guess. I had stage fright and hypersensitivity issues that nearly killed me. My job was hard because I was too nervous when socializing and standing in front of a class. But it was too easy intellectually.

To keep my mind stimulated I started translating all my lesson plans into Japanese. The private school where I worked never suggested this idea. The lesson plans were so boring that eventually I just threw them out and in their place I taught my students poems by my favorite poet, Shel Siverstein. I created improvisational story creation exercises that mostly bombed. Japanese students aren’t accustomed to spontaneous and creative lessons.

I had students of all ages and types. I had adults over 40 and middle school students. I had rich housewives, sailors from the Japanese Self-Defense Force and even a super intelligent chemist whose English was so good he didn’t need to take my class.

As is my pattern, I slowly developed a sexual obsession with one of my students, a 33 year-old man who was a lieutenant in the Japanese Self Defense Force. I don’t usually go for guys I the military but for him I made an exception.

All of my obsessions usually start off with me fixating on something benign like an elbow or veins in an arm. In Taku’s case, it was his white shoes that began to arouse me. His shoes were always sparkling clean and buffed. I was taken off guard by those shoes.

As my obsession grew, I found it terribly difficult to focus on teaching…….