Traumatic Life Event Transcends Life of Service
What is a Crucible Event?
That defining moment, when life will no longer be the same, a transformative experience through which you come to a new or altered sense of identity. A traumatic experience that forces you to confront yourself and life.
My Crucible Event:
My crucible moment rang loudly, violently, and sharply when I picked up the home phone at 3am on Monday 6 April 2009. The first ring barely finished, when my eyes swiftly and abruptly opened, and a voice in my head said, “Brendon is dead.”
When I heard my sister’s voice on the phone, I just knew, even though I physically could get no words out of my mouth. My big brother, suddenly and unexpectedly (and still unexplained), passed away at the age of 33, while on a business trip in Buenos Aires.
My Shift:
His death set in motion a chain of events in my life that lead me to this moment. Our family was spread around the world during this horrific time. I lived in New Zealand, my sister lived in the United Kingdom, and our parents in South Africa.
No one around me had lost a sibling. I was desperate and longed for someone who could relate to what was occurring with me… someone who could understand and help me make sense of the storm of emotions and feelings taking over every part of my being.
The rollercoaster ran from moments of utter despair and pain (that feeling of someone shoving their hand in your chest and ripping out your heart) desperately clenching onto any hope just to feel “normal” again to moments of contemplating and planning suicide. My shift came when I realized, something had to change; if I continued down this path, life wouldn’t be worth living. I needed to make the decision either to commit suicide or not, and if I choose to live, then something in life needed to change to make it worth living.
My desperation led me to try anything and everything to rid myself of feeling such loss and anguish. From energy healing to medium readings to connect with Brendon, I am so grateful for those useful outlets, valuable stones on my multi-faceted path; however, I was still left with “coping” with my feelings. I still had a hurdle, it seemed.
My inner world was still a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
That chain of events set in motion after his death led me to the Bob Proctor Matrixx event in Toronto, April 2015, where I met my coach, Walker Clark. He wasn’t there as a representative of Proctor Gallagher Institute. It seemed he had attended with curiosity, and we happened upon each other.
A mere sentence he uttered in a tea break created an opening in my inner world with the thrust of what seemed like hurricane proportions. After one conversation that night, as my perspective shifted, I just knew, that if I wanted my life to change, then I needed to make a choice. With my new coach by my side, we set forth together, which led to transcending my inner-emotional weighted down world to one of abundance, empowerment, and service.
Realisation, my Dreams Coming True:
Once I decided to commit to coaching with Walker, I saw clearly, I felt lighter about life and about Brendon’s death. I felt creative and hopeful. That is when I realized my crucible event was my brother’s death. This tragedy was a part of my dreams to serve others coming true.
I use this traumatic event as a way to help and support others.